Infected by the machine

 

Nearly eleven years ago, I wrote of nostalgia for my "pre-internet brain". I was already yearning for a mercurial mystery, an opaque numinosity, a unique contrariness that I feared was slipping away from me.

Today, I had a nagging feeling that, while my pre-internet brain is alive and well, it's gone into hiding. Especially when it comes to its output in the form of work-related writing.

I feel as if my writing is becoming blander round the edges. As if there's a part of my brain that really is infected by AI. I'm not over-keen on putting everything through an AI detector, but gave it a go, nevertheless.   

Client 1

I write articles for their brand communications and media newsletter. As usual, at the beginning of the year, one article is about trends. My first draft was "64% likely human", but by the time I'd incorporated the client comments, it had crossed a line. Into "69% AI probability."

Uh-oh.

I dug out my article on trends from 4 years ago. "98% likely human."

Definitely infected.

Client 2

In this case, I write keynote-type speeches for marketing events. For the 2025 event, the line had been crossed, too: "68% AI probability." For the 2021 speech I was still operating on pre-AI brain: "97% likely human."

There are push and pull factors going on here. From the client side, the feedback is often of the "crisper, clearer, simpler" sort, and I have sometimes been given an AI first draft as a brief, rather than a few bullet points.

It's much harder to extricate yourself from an AI-style as first draft than polish up your first draft with AI.

Then there were the pull factors from my side. As the audience for the articles and speeches is international, I use Hemingway  to keep the language and structure relatively simple. And I probably cut out more colloquialisms than I used to. Killing my darlings for better comprehension.

This is all conscious stuff. But I sense that the infection has worked its way in unconsciously. I am spending far too much time reading stuff online, too much of which is AI-generated. And I suspect my clients are, too. We are all becoming infected. And the expectations of what's a well-written article has changed.

I know that I must push back now. Because I'm not writing for AI and GEO. My audience is 100% human. I'm spending more time on real, paper books. Avoiding AI summaries, going to original sources. 

It's time to wake the non-infected, pre-AI part of my brain up. 

RETROWURST: Switzerland February 2008

 

Hot on the hiking boot heels of Austria last month, it’s Switzerland’s turn in Retrowurst. Eighteen years ago, I took a William Tell-style pot shot at Switzerland in all its cohesiveness and diversity. Alphorns, flag-throwing, Swiss Army knives and all. 

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Having had a go, as it were, at Austria in my last Extrawurst, I thought I would take a shot at Switzerland, in a William Tell sort of way, this time and see if I can hit the centre of the apple! If we were to play that “countries as brands” game, one thing that strikes me about Switzerland is that the country presents perhaps one of the most intriguing combinations of cohesiveness on the one hand and diversity on the other of all European countries, at least.

 

I have a special affection for Switzerland while thinking about brands and marketing as Switzerland was the destination of my first ever trip “abroad” on business. I was involved in a fairly mundane market research project involving the development of an Own Label dog food for Migros but I remember the amazement I felt at sitting around a table at lunchtime where eight people were speaking no fewer than four languages between them! A few years later, on a holiday in Lucerne, we ascended Mount Pilatus via the funicular railway to find two highly contrasting but equally fascinating events vying for attention at the top of the mountain. These were something called “Les Chefs des Chefs” – or similar – a gathering of the head Chefs of the World’s political leaders and an Alphornfest along with a bit of flag-throwing. Here was the paradox of Switzerland, if not in a microcosm, at least on a mountain peak: simultaneously sweepingly International and passionately local. This sums up the country that is the host of International organizations such as the Red Cross or the United Nations Human Rights Council but hangs stubbornly onto their Francs, not wanting to get too submerged into the E.U.

 

To go back to that flag-throwing, I would hazard a guess that the Swiss flag, along with the Stars and Stripes, the Union Jack and that flag the Germans had from 1933 - 1945, is one of the most recognised in the world. The flag has a certain iconic quality that isn’t really present in all those stripy flags: having lived in Germany for twelve years now, I still get Germany and Belgium confused! And the Swiss are pretty good at marketing themselves via the flag, too. It is very easy to spend rather more francs than you want to at one of those amazing “Swiss Shops” at Zurich airport, or wherever, that tempt you with all manner of merchandise with that very pleasing-to-the-eye red and white flag.

 

Of course, numerous internet sites have sprung up peddling Swiss-flag-merchandise from T-shirts in all shapes and sizes, sunglasses, baby bibs, umbrellas and some rather dodgy underwear. (I must admit to being a little bemused by this – I am not sure of the potential effect of Swiss flag boxers or G-strings given that the Swiss always seem to get the role of the lovers in those European-version-of-Hell jokes!) In addition, you can order your favourite Swiss Army products such as knives and blankets as well as everything from watches to cowbells, cheese to chocolate (one thing is certain, Switzerland must be Hell for migraine sufferers!) Some of the sites I’ve found include www.myswitzerland.com , www.swiss.shop.missbach.com , www.swissmade.com and www.atoswiss.co.uk .

 

But so much for the coherence and consistency of Switzerland, as symbolised by the Swiss flag. The diversity of such a small country is the other side of the Swiss Franc. There are no less than four official languages (65% German, 18% French, 10% Italian and 1% Romansh), 26 cantons and over 20% of the population is made up of foreigners. In fact, of European countries, only Liechtenstein and Luxembourg have a greater % of foreigners in the population. These are mainly from the former Yugoslavia, but Germans, Italians and Portuguese also figure highly.

 

The Swiss-German language is almost incomprehensible to many High German speakers and really is a language in its own right – not simply a dialect with a few different words, as Austrian-German is. Because of this, perhaps, Swiss-German is a constant source of amusement to Germans. The Swiss are proud of their language so this amusement can be deemed as insulting but, to be very honest, they don’t exactly help themselves. I saw something in a bar called Kafi Schümlipflümli which I don’t think you’d want to ask for twice, presuming you weren’t rendered totally incapable by the first one (I got as far as working out that this involved alcohol).

 

But although they laugh at the language, Switzerland represents a sort of “idealised Germany” for many Germans. The people are richer, there is less unemployment, the mountains are higher and there is no or hardly any past that one would rather draw a veil over. This is perhaps symbolised very neatly in the story of Heidi. When Heidi is dragged away from her beloved mountains and Grandfather to live in Frankfurt with the sickly Clara, she soon becomes as ill, mentally and physically, as Clara herself. And of course, conversely, the Swiss mountains work wonders for Clara’s health. Heidi is still one of the most popular TV programs amongst primary school children here in Germany and is broadcast at the prime early-evening slot. The cartoon series was originally made in 1974 and has hardly been off air since. Maybe this is not surprising. But what is – and this is typical of the paradox of Switzerland – is that this immensely popular Swiss story’s most successful film version is a Japanese anime.

 

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It wasn’t a bad shot - think I got the apple that time. 

I’d like to mention a couple of Swiss brands while I’m here - first, those wonderful boots are from Ammann . And then, watches, chocolate, banking and insurance aside, I’ve noticed that Switzerland has been quite active in the development of non-alcoholic drinks recently - such as Nino and Bel Nada. 

This’ll be the last regular Retrowurst in this format. I have exhausted my ready-made supply of article from the past.

But today is tomorrow’s retro, so watch this space.