This. And This. And This ...

The streets outside may well be empty, but the dear old information superhighway is getting mighty congested.

Dormant WhatsApp groups are springing into life with the vigour of April tulips.

Long-lost relatives are emailing and Skyping and FaceTiming and StrangeTiming and StaySafeing.

The middle-aged have taken a crash-course in the media of the young, from Zoom to TikTok to Houseparty.

Streaming services have turned into less of a stream and more of a torrential, gushing river in danger of breaking its banks.

Museums, galleries, cinemas and educational establishments have flung open their virtual doors. I have even joined a virtual pub.

Along with all the memes on overdrive and "useful stuff to do if you're bored" (bored????) there's a unstoppable current of mis-information about COVID-19 and previous pandemics, from conspiracy theories to misleading medical advice to manipulated statistics to fake stories.

"Anywheres" are being forced to becomes "Somewheres" with all the inadvertent hilarity that Home Office brings.

And meanwhile, many of the "Somewheres" are out of the front line, or wondering whether there will be a Somewhere - a small business, a livelihood, a home - when all this is over.

Talking of "when all this is over", there is also a deluge of seminars, studies and articles speculating on what, exactly, will be the "new normal". No-one knows, of course.

I'm not convinced that the world will become obsessed with hygiene. Maybe in combination with more interest in immunity and how to be better prepared next time.

I'm also not sure about the "online as default" prediction that's flying around. There isn't really a substitute for reality and face-to-face meeting. People are social animals and social media will only take you so far. There's already a yearning to get back together, with "meeting friends"  as the Number 1 thing people will do after the crisis.

And will we be better people? Again, for every high-minded soul that's meditating in the morning, dashing off a novel or symphony in the afternoon and delivering essential groceries in the evening, there are plenty sitting around, guzzling down comfort food and too much booze, while bombarding the world with "hilarious" memes. Not to mention the spinners of conspiracy theories and bogus medical advice, the con-artists and the opportunists (thanks, whoever you were with your kind offer of a "free financial consultation" so that I don't lose all of my pension).

Times change, but human nature doesn't.

Conspiracy Communication

Do you know anybody from Bielefeld?
Have you ever been to Bielefeld?
Do you know anybody who has ever been to Bielefeld?

The answer to these questions - even in Germany - is likely to be "no" from most people, and should you answer yes, the likelihood is that you've been brainwashed by THEM. The rumour is - since the early days of the internet 25 years ago - that Bielefeld doesn't really exist.

While devising a campaign for the town, how clever of the Bielefeld Marketing team to avoid the usual route of raiding the happy-smiley stock photos and turning the negative on its head.

The campaign, Die #Bielefeldmillion is offering €1m to anyone who can prove incontrovertibly that Bielefeld doesn't exist. And the campaign has had huge national and international resonance - emails from Azerbaijan to Brazil,  news reports from Australia to India, local firms such as Dr Oetker joining in on the fun.

There 's a lesson here - not just for place marketing, but for any brand. It takes a healthy dollop of self-confidence and humour to admit your brand isn't perfect, and is even the butt of jokes. But something imperfect is also lovable, as both Marmite and IKEA have long proved.

Coming back to Bielefeld, though - if you want to win the €1m, you'd better be quick: the closing date is 4th September.

Anglo-Hessisch

It's been official for a few weeks, but I didn't feel properly bona fide Beutsch or Gritish until I picked up my passport today. I am now proudly Anglo-Hessisch, along with goodness knows what else in my DNA.

Will I need to rename my blog "Additional Sausage Thrown In"?

Doesn't sound too catchy.

However, I am working on a new logo.

Putting Brands in their place

The number of 'Ps' in marketing seems to expand each year from the original 4 that I learned - Product, Price, Place, Promotion. Place, rather like Price, never got that much discussion in advertising-related meetings, as I think that there are a lot of unwritten assumptions about 'Place' as far as brands go.

A retail brand will assume that the stores are The Place, household products will orientate themselves to The Home. But think about how both stores and homes are changing in relation to physical place. I'm not convinced that a brand necessarily has a fixed place in space.

I was interested to see a promotion from Burger King in New Zealand, 'Backyard Burger King.' The idea is that Burger King will be giving away 50 Backyard Burger King kits like the one pictured above, so that you can enjoy the flame-grilled taste in your own backyard with your mates.



And that's the clever thing. It's stressing what sets Burger King apart - not that it's a takeaway, or fast food, or a hamburger chain, but that it is a flame-grilled burger that you can enjoy anywhere.

Other examples include the Blockhouse chain of steakhouses here in Germany, who sell their products - dressings, dips, burgers, steak pepper - through the grocery trade, so you can enjoy Blockhouse food (if not the whole experience) at home. Or Pret a Manger who publish their sandwich recipes on their packaging. There is a generosity about this approach, rather than a misguided possessiveness about 'not giving any secrets away.' In fact, this all makes so much sense if you think about it, as takeaways (rather than eat-ins) lose the control of the brand the moment the customer leaves the restaurant. If they want to eat their Whopper cold two days later with added pomegranate, that has always been their prerogative.

In these days of online and offline merging, and not being two distinct states or modes of operation, it makes sense to reduce the rigidity of a brand's definition of 'Place.'

In what new or unexpected context could your brand be made available to emphasise its uniqueness?