RETROWURST: Crisps & Snacks January 2007

This is a good one for January, where I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling a touch bloated and in need of some serious exercise in the fresh air. In the UK, I was addicted to crisps from an early age, and used to sneak off to spend my dinner money on crunchy snacks instead of Spam fritters. Probably healthier, actually.

One piece of evidence for my Teutonisation is that I really don’t eat so many crisps now. Certainly not the kgs mentioned in this Extrawurst from January 2007. In fact, I’m beginnng to develop a distaste for the nibbles/picky bits/grab bags/finger food/grazing business, although that could be because the words are so ghastly. 

Here’s the state of play in the world of crisps and snacks eighteen years ago ...

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Did you know that the Brits eat, on average, more than five times as many potato crisps per year as the Germans? The UK leads potato crisp consumption in Europe with an amazing 3 ½ kg per head per year, while Germans consume a mere 700g per head per year, one of the lowest consumption levels in Europe. In fact, only the Italians are less enthusiastic about crisps, with a consumption level of 600g per head per year.

 

Pondering on the reasons for the difference, I came up with the following factors. First of all, we should look at market development and history. Crisps have simply not been around for very long in Germany, relatively speaking. There is quite an interesting story behind their introduction to Germany which goes that a German show jumper, Irmgard von Opel, was on holiday in the U.S with her husband Heinrich and son Carlo when she discovered potato chips and decided that they would sell well in her home country. In 1962, the family set up the first production of Chio Chips, the brand name coming from the initials of the first names of the family. In 1968, another brand, Chipsfrisch, which would become the brand leader, was launched.

 

If one looks at the market for crisps here, it is relatively underdeveloped in terms of varieties, product forms, pack sizes and distribution outlets. Typically, crisps come in a large (175 g) pack size and the range of flavours is limited. The biggest seller is Ungarisch, which is a sort of Paprika flavour, followed by plain salted. Other flavours such as Pepperoni or Chinese are available, or even our beloved Salt & Vinegar, but these are reported to be successful only in cosmopolitan, city areas.

 

I have mentioned that distribution is more limited here in Germany. Crisps are not nearly as ubiquitous here as in the UK, where they can be found in school lunchboxes through to pubs. Neither of these places would harbour crisps in Germany, for reasons I’ll come on to! Instead, crisps are confined to the supermarket and perhaps the petrol station. Related to the ubiquity of crisps in terms of where you can buy them, habits are very different in terms of where and when you eat crisps. Crisps are really only eaten in the evening, in front of the TV. There is some use at parties but not to the extent seen at the UK and crisps tend to be consumed more in private at-home situations.

 

A lot of this has to do with a certain difference in food culture. In Germany, there is far less of the “snacks and nibbles” mentality than one gets in the UK. A party of any kind without proper food supplied by the host is frowned on and the idea of any kind of “nibbles” before a dinner party would be thought of as disrespectful to the food that is to come. One could say that there is a far less “playful” attitude to food, which is where crisps miss out. Although German food can tend toward the heavy and stodgy, there is an innate belief in proper, natural, unprocessed food. In this sense, although there is no Jamie Oliver watching over children’s lunchbox content, few German mothers would dream of putting anything other than a cheese or meat sandwich and fruit in their child’s lunch box. And anyway, the huge packets of crisps here simply aren’t designed for little hands.

 

But before you all start thinking that the weird Germans are totally missing out on the idea of something salty and crunchy to go with their Bier, we must remember the Salzstange or Brezel. Perhaps one of the reasons that crisps didn’t catch on was that their place was already occupied by pretzels. If a German bar offers any savoury snacks at all, it is likely that they will be little salty sticks. And pretzels often pop up at children’s parties and even in lunchboxes, albeit with some of the over-zealous Muttis scraping the salt off first. Pretzels are even thought to have medicinal properties, with a diet of Coca-Cola and Salzstangen considered a worthy alternative to Imodium to combat “the runs”.

 

In terms of the brand landscape for savoury snacks in total, the three main players are the leader, Intersnack, who own the Funny-Frisch (www.funny-frisch.de ) and Chio (www.chio.de ) brands, Lorenz Bahlsen Snack World (kings of pretzels and nuts) and Stöver who produce a lot of Own Label. Growth in the “stacked” crisp area is also building Pringles into a major brand. 

 

The only other product forms of real note in the market are Tortilla Chips and dips and Erdnuss Flips or peanut puffs. Minor products include onion rings, “Hula Hoops”, “Chiplets”, shaped savoury biscuits and ribbed crisps.

 

There is relatively little innovation in the market, but what innovation there is focuses on the lower fat/ natural area, for example, “Naturals” from Lorenz. But I think the door is wide open for more innovation in the gourmet area and the health/well-being area for adults and children. However, I think pickled onion flavour Monster Munch probably wouldn’t be a winner.

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Oddly, this is a situation that hasn’t changed hugely. There’s been an increase in snack and crisp consumption here, up to around 1.5 kg pro annum, although I couldn’t find any good, reliable recent figures. On the other hand, the Brits are munching more than ever before, at about 4.5 kg per munchy mouth - the results of which are all too apparent in any shopping centre.

Pringles and its imitators has become quite a staple here and there have been developments in Kettle Crisps and snacks made from chickpeas and other vegetables. A few weird new flavours have cropped up (Chilli Cheese Fries - the thought makes me quite queasy).

But it’s still big bags and, as far as I know, not much sneaking its way into the children’s lunchboxes. 

BREXILE: I left my soul in SW19

 

     New Year’s Eve 1995/6

This where I get personal. 

Not much about brands or ads, but a lot of me-me-me. (I’m entitled, though, aren’t I?)

Next year’s big project will be clearing out and selling up. Going into Brexile officially. I’m dreading it, but perhaps it’ll be therapeutic to jot down my feelings and experiences so I can look back and laugh.

It’s also a chance to regurgitate some of my creative writing. This first piece was written in 2010, so 14 years ago, but also 14 years after my move here.

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I LEFT MY SOUL IN SW19

 

In March 1996, I jumped the great ship Britannia as she sailed towards the island of Cool. My one-way ticket cut through the Heathrow fog like a landing-light. Terminal 1 echoed with finality – no going back?

 

London still slept but my mind already marched to the beat of the Teutonic clock. My heart followed more than willingly, long lost in the mists of a fairytale.

 

Only my English soul stayed stubborn. 

 

Like my mishandled baggage, it was wrenched kicking and screaming from the conveyor belt at Frankfurt. 

 

The tear could not be repaired.

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Just. Slop. I mean Stop.

 

I’m not sure how many predictions reports I can bear to read this year, but I started with WFA as it seems mercifully short. 

Under the heading of “Back to Fundamentals. Again.” came this thought from a WFA member at a recent CMO forum in Toronto:

So many of us are looking at the same Gen AI tools that we’re all doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes.

Well, yes. Alongside using the same Growth Flywheel template, Customer Journey template and all the other formats, templates and other paint-by-numbers gubbins. 

The big brands started their “show and tell, we’ve been playing with AI” kick some time ago, but as a LinkedIn friend of mine pointed out no-one is interested any more. 

And now the butcher, baker and candlestick maker on the corner (and the local nail studio) will be getting in on the act. 

Welcome to the Slop-o-verse. The Multi-coloured Slop Shop.

Maybe for my own part, I should stop with the negative blog posts about this stuff and try and find something a touch more worthwhile.

If this is the future of advertising, I’m underwhelmed

 

This new commercial for Vodafone describes itself as “groundbreaking”. 

Was the YouTube description written by AI? Highly likely, as the film itself was completely produced by AI - text to picture, picture to video, video to video - with a little bit of human help sprinkled here and there by the director, client and creative teams involved.

As a film, it’s OK. AI is definitely capable of better quality film than it was a few months ago. There’s nothing too alarming or creepy about this ad - or, indeed, the Coca Cola Christmas ad this year.

But while there’s nothing too much wrong with it, there’s nothing too much right with it either, in my view. It’s yet another one of those diversity vignette films. The soundtrack, The Rhythm of the Night, is a dance hit from 1993.

And that’s what this ad feels like to me - 1993. Back then, in the agency, we’d often cobble together (well, that’s unfair, as it took a lot of time and skill in those days) “mood films”, sometimes in the form of a “manifesto.” The purpose was to bring the core of what the brand was about to life. It was more entertaining than a brand onion, and more likely to win you a place on a pitch shortlist.

What these things weren’t, however, is creative ideas. They were usually briefed in by a planner and their audience wasn’t Joe and Jane Public - it was the client, to flatter them a little about their wonderful brand.

And meanwhile, in the spirit of “Everybody’s Doing It”, the ghastly stock photos of people joining hands, staring excitedly at their laptops, putting pieces of fruit in front of their eyes or cradling a tender young shoot in the palm of their hands have been replaced with AI-generated monstrosities.

I’m working with a client in the energy sector at the moment, where the visions seem particularly nightmarish:

I do hope I see a little more originality next year!

Sources, proof-points, facts and references - and how they get in the way of a good story

 

A few years back, I had a little whinge about the Mr Gradgrinds of the world. Specifically, the instance on backing everything up with “facts," taking up time I could usefully spend on telling a compelling story.  

It strikes me that there’s even more demand for all this today. Maybe it’s because of the epidemic of high-profile people doctoring their CV, or their Doctorate Thesis. Or because Mr “Fake News” is heading back to the White House, or the unstoppable rise of AI. But I do find it wearying in the extreme.

There are some amusing incidents along the way, though. I signed up to one of those freelancer platforms and was asked to produce (and upload) some questionnaire from the German Finanzamt about and confirming my freelancer status. I told the person who’d asked for it that yes, I believe I did fill something like that in, but it would have been in 2002. And it would have been on paper. And I would have sent it by post. And no, I wouldn’t have kept a copy as I didn’t have a photocopier in my home at the time (not many people did). 

They would just have to take my word for it - which, luckily, they did. I suspect the woman who asked wasn’t even born in 2002 and was embarassed and bewildered by the whole thing.

Taking my word for it. When I write a presentation, or an article, it’s the bird building a nest syndome. There are bits and pieces - from stuff recently read, things I’ve learned, things I just know, intuitively, from long experience etc. etc. I can’t remember the source or reference for each bit because it’s not important. What’s important is the finished nest, where everything fits together in a lovely integral whole and you think - ah, yes!

In the end, it’s a matter of trust. As a whole, I don’t tend to make stuff up, or twist facts and figures to suit my argument (well, not too much). Sources, references and “proof-points” do tend to trip up the reader in the flow of the story, and there's little way of including them elegantly without the article ending up like the aforementioned Doctorate Thesis.

On the other hand, with this kind of howler coming out from an outfit the size of Microsoft, maybe those Mr Gradgrinds do have a point? 

Condiments of the season

 

The clocks have gone back, the feather duvets retrieved from the cellar and the beergarden afternoons definitely a memory of sunnier days. At the weekend, I experienced a last stand in miniature from a Bavarian speciality that I associate firmly with the dog days of summer through to the autumn jollity of the Oktoberfest.

At a birthday party, we were served canapés of Weißwurst, Salzpretzel and a dollop of Süßsenf. Rather like this:

Weißwurst is a delicacy that doesn’t have the immediate appeal to Brits of a Bratwurst. I remember meeting a UK colleague in Munich at around 11am and his stomach definitely turned when I ordered this particular snack and started tucking in. The sausage itself is made from veal (I’m not over-keen to find out which particular bits), pork fat, parsley and spices. The discarded sausage skin does look particularly unappealing. Traditionally, these sausages were made in the morning and butchers and restaurants were keen to get rid of them by mid-day. Again, I’d rather not ask too many questions as to why.

They are, however, delicious and there’s a certain charm in the way they are served, floating around in a terrine-type bowl with lion’s head handles and maybe a Bavarian flag pattern:

 

Now, you may have noticed that mini-terrine of brown stuff to the right. Once again, I’ll refrain from saying what this resembles, but it is Süßsenf - sweet mustard. The mustard seeds are roasted and the mustard is sweetened with sugar, apple purée or honey. The first commercial producer was Develey, who are still going strong today. But the market leader is the one pictured above - Händlmaier. 

Karl and Johanna Händlmaier opened their first butcher’s shop in Regensburg in 1910, and Johanna created the Süße Hausmachersenf  in 1914, to go with the sausages they sold to eat on the premises.  Son Joseph and his wife Luise took over the butchers’ shops after the 2nd WW, and it is Luise who turned these into a thriving mustard and condiments business after her husband’s death in 1955. She’s the lady depicted on the label, of course.

The website is full of Weißwurst wisdom, including the etiquette for eating the sausages. In typical German fashion, it’s less about “how do you eat yours?” and more about orderly steps and correct procedures. 

Whichever way, it’s fun to be writing about sausages again on Extrawurst. It’s been a while!

  

RETROWURST: Baking November 2006

 

Advent is fast-approaching so it’s time to whisk yourself into the Home Bakery. 

I wonder if I’d have taken up baking if I hadn’t moved over here?

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If you were to wander around the shops in Germany at the moment, one thing that you wouldn’t fail to notice – apart from the explosion of Christmas decorations – is that the baking season is well and truly upon us. Every supermarket has displays of enticing baking ingredients and every Tchibo, Lidl or Aldi that does weekly products has a brochure with a picture of mother and cute daughter in red aprons, surrounded by an overwhelming collection of ingredients and gadgets from electrical cookie cutters to non-fat donut makers. This time of year, the just-before-advent season in middle to end-November is the absolute peak season for baking in Germany. It is expected that, by the first Sunday of Advent, that one should have baked enough Plätzchen – biscuits to you and me – to last you well until the New Year.

 

Although the pre-advent season is the peak of the baking-frenzy, Germany does have a strong culture of baking at most other times of year. Baking is one of those activities that combine a number of typically German values and obsessions. First and foremost, baking is an activity that has to do with family and togetherness: the idea of a gemütlich afternoon with advent candles, coffee and home-baked goodies in the close family circle is bound to get most Germans a little teary. Of course, most of the baking is done by women and this re-affirms many of the attitudes that the likes of Eva Hermann are trying to push back onto German women: that being a good Hausfrau should be the sole goal in life.

 

Another German value that baking reflects is that of tradition. Recipes are handed down through the generations and generations may come together to bake. The grandmother may be the expert on Stollen while the granddaughter may be a dab hand at the Zimtsternen. Most families will have very set traditions of where and when they enjoy their Adventskaffee. At other times of year, too, certain types of cakes and pastries come into their own:  Apfelkuchen and Pflaumenkuchen in the autumn, for example, or Berliner (doughnuts) at Carnival time.

 

Finally, baking gives wonderful expression to the German love of gadgets. It is quite amazing to see what even the average German household has in the way of baking gadgets. Several cake tins in different sizes, formats and materials are just the start of it. A waffle maker is standard, and cupboards and drawers will be full of everything from a plastic doily-like thing to make pretty icing sugar patterns with to a special “click shut and carry” plastic case for your Gugelhupf. German ingenuity really comes to the fore in the world of candied peel and chocolate hundred and thousands.

 

While baking seems to be something that has undergone a revival in the UK, in Germany, it never went away. There does not seem to be the cult of the celebrity chef here, although there are a couple of me-too German versions of Nigella or Jamie Oliver knocking around here, if that is not too unpalatable a thought. Perhaps this is because the real celebrities here are those millions of ordinary women who bake regularly for the Landfrauen stand at the town Fest, or the open day at the Kindergarten or simply for Sunday Kaffee und Kuchen, advent or not. Cakes and other baked goods are simply a part of life in Germany that “belongs to it” as they say here. At flea markets or craft fairs, the price to have a stand is usually a couple of Euros and a home-made cake. At every town or club celebration, there will be a cake stand. And any time that you invite someone around for coffee, no matter how informal the occasion, there will be at least some expectancy that you’ll have gone to a bit of trouble to bake something.

 

All this is not to say, however, that bought cakes have no place in Germany. Of course they do, but the homemade cakes are seen as the norm. In the supermarket, the range of pre-packed cakes is fairly narrow compared to the UK and is typified by the sort of cakes made by Bahlsen (www.bahlsen.de): relatively simple “slab” cakes. These are normally bought when you have a good excuse for not having baked yourself or for when people pop round spontaneously (not a very common occurrence in Germany, where everything is planned and double-planned). The cake is then produced with a rather apologetic face and comments will go along the lines of “well, of course these shop-bought cakes are adequate but it’s not nearly as good as your Aunt Waltraud’s.”

 

On the other hand, fresh “bought” cakes have a different status. Bäckereis and Konditoreis are sprinkled liberally all over Germany rather like flaked almonds or chopped pistachios. Cakes and Torten can be bought to be consumed on the premises or carefully packed for the Gemütlichkeit of one’s own home. The selection of cakes in these places tends to be extravagant to say the least but even here, there is often the feeling that, although the Torte may look like a work of art, Aunt Waltraud has probably still got the edge when it comes to the taste.

 

To get back to the business of home-baking, one brand really does rule the roost. While Maggi is the queen of the savoury kitchen in Germany, then Dr. Oetker is the king of baking. Dr. Oetker (www.droetker.de ) is an iconic, sprawling institution of a brand and seems to have dictated what goes on in German kitchens for over a hundred years. As well as providing all of the baking ingredients from baking powder to gelatine to flavourings to vanilla sugar – all carefully dosed-out and pre-portioned – Dr. Oetker also does a range of cake and pastry mixes and, importantly, for the role of the brand as bakery oracle, cookery and baking books. More than merely recipe books, these books have become indispensable classics in the “how to” art of baking. With increased mobility, these books can become a mother-substitute for young women wondering exactly how you do remove a sponge base from a 28cm Springform tin.

 

While Dr. Oetker is without doubt the leading player on the home baking stage, there is also a large cast of specialist supporting brands. When it comes to decorating your cake and specific ingredients, Schwartau (www.schwartau.de ), whose main strength as a brand is actually in fruit and jam, have everything you need from pre-zested lemon to poppy-seed filling. Toppits (www.toppits.de ) are specialists in baking paper products. And in the area of gadgetry, you cannot escape the presence of Fackelmann (www.fackelmann.de ) with their ingenious devices for the kitchen.

 

Finally, it is not all deep-rooted tradition in the world of home-baking, contrary to expectations. New trends and movements in other food and drink areas are seized upon enthusiastically in the baking world. In fact, Dr. Oetker publishes a book called Modetorten in which you’ll find – in addition to the expected Cappuccino and Latte in cake versions – cake recipes with Coca Cola and Fanta and even cakes in the shape of car tyres and snowboards.

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Of course, since 2006, Insta, Pinterest and TikTok have all become mini baking shows. Even I’ve joined in with my #sicklycakes 

Dr. Oetker’s Modetorten look as scrumptious and preposterous as ever online these days - anyone fancy an Aperol-Spritz Cake?