IAQs

 

British Airways doesn’t deserve any medals from me.

Now, I’ve been cheered up by the new ad campaign from the last couple of years, it’s true. But unfortunately the idea hasn’t filtered down to one-to-one communication with the airline. I’m still getting the annoyingly twee emails that assume I’m a spoilt 12-year-old - written in the same grating tone-of-voice as the ghastly High Life (which I used to read cover-to-cover with pleasure in days gone by). 

But when it comes to one-to-one communication that’s initiated by the customer, things deteriorate even further. 

I had a question for British Airways last week. Would I be allowed to take my dad’s precious medals in my hand luggage flying from Frankfurt to London? I’d assumed yes, but a couple of days before my flight thought - ah, but there’s that huge pin (all 11cm) of it. See above. 

My dilemma can be illustrated by memories of two unpleasant British Airways experiences.

1. My luggage not turning up at Heathrow with my flight and having to wait “up to two days” before it arrived. 

2. Staff at Heathrow confiscating my son’s round-ended child scissors as a “dangerous item”. This was on his 8th birthday. 

I started with the website and read carefully about what’s classified as dangerous and what not. Knitting needles and crochet hooks are OK, but scissors with blades more than 6cm aren't. Nothing about medals and pins.

OK, I’d have to contact them. I tried the “Chat” first - grudgingly, but you never know, AI is coming on in leaps and bounds. 

Not at BA, it isn’t. The bot had been trained exclusively on the airline’s website, it seems, and was only capable of regurgitating content from that. I asked it for a contact number.

All was going swimmingly until the lady I spoke to got my booking number. Oh no, sorry, I can’t help you. You booked through “British Airways Holidays” and have to talk to them.

Eh? But this isn’t a holiday. And anyway, it’s a general question abut what you can carry in hand luggage - or not.

I can’t help you with that because you booked through “British Airways Holidays” - would you like their number. 

Yes, please ...

Number was unobtainable. Rang back. Just been talking to you, or a colleague, number unobtainable etc.

Got a different number. Also unobtainable.

I gave up. Decided to put the medals in my hold baggage and just pray. In the event, the bag did turn up and I was able to do my father proud on Remembrance Sunday.

But it did make me think. If British Airways are going to position themselves around “A British Original”, shouldn’t they have communication channels in place to be able to deal with the human, original, Infrequently Asked Questions, too?