RETROWURST: Kik June 2007

 

What surprised me the most about my article about the fashion discounter Kik, back in June 2007, was the Creative Director asking “who?” Blimey, I thought our echo chambers were bad enough now!

Anyway, here’s how the wonderful world of Kik looked 18 years ago:

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This month, it is the turn of one of Germany’s fastest-growing retailers to be the subject of Extrawurst. A couple of weeks ago, there was a comment on one of the Brand Republic blogs about the brands “loved by metrosexuals” that seem to creep into every seminar and conference like the usual suspects. Brands like Apple, Nike and Innocent. The author called for celebration of Unfashionably Brilliant Brands such as Argos, National Express and Travelodge. Well, you will be forgiven for not being familiar with the brand I’m going to write about if you live in the UK, but I was a little worried recently when a creative director here in Germany had to ask “who?” when I mentioned this brand, so far away as it is from the world of advertising agency folk!

 

In fact, it is funny that this retailer should be a candidate for being Unfashionably Brilliant because it is a fashion retailer, Kik (www.kik-textilien.de ). Obviously the fashions that Kik sells are not really de rigueur in the creative departments of Hamburg and Berlin but no-one can deny that Kik is one of the few home-grown success stories of recent years in a somewhat lacklustre market.

 

If you have never experienced Kik, I can only say that, being kind, it is rather like a market (Wembley, if it still exists, rather than Camden Lock) or one of those “everything a pound” bazaar places. Being unkind, it is a depressing sort of jumble-sale with fashion mistakes from the last few years served up in sizes up to 6XXL!

 

Kik started 12 years ago in Bönen, Westphalia and now has over 2,000 stores with sales of around €1.2 bn (2006 estimated). The objective of the retailer is to get to 2,500 stores by the end of 2007. As Lidl has 2,750 stores here, you can get some idea of the size of the operation. The stores were originally in out-of-town locations, on bleak industrial estates but Kik is now going increasingly for city-centre locations.

 

The concept is incredibly simple: do what Aldi and Lidl do for food, but for clothing. But before you start thinking that this is a sort of German Primark, please stop. While Primark has some aspirations to fashion, style, service and even shopping experience, you can forget all of those with Kik. Kik is deliberately cheaper and no-frills-er than anyone else in the business. There are no shop-window displays or dummies in Kik. There are no bags unless you pay for them. There are no nice carpets or luxurious changing-rooms. There are a couple of mirrors in each store and a couple of tiny basic cubicles (without mirrors) should you want to try on a bikini. Generally, trying-on is discouraged as Kik worry that seeing yourself in an orange, purple and turquoise kaftan in the cold light of day could put you off purchase. On the other hand, they make a big thing of their “exchange without discussion” policy: being cynical, they probably think that, at these prices, people won’t bother to bring something back.

 

Kik relies on the impulse additional purchase. The way to the till is via a bazaar-like collection of bargains: toys, sweets, make-up and perfumes, greeting cards and wrapping paper and household goods such as rubbish bags and batteries. Most of these items sell for €1 or less. And the clothes are amazingly cheap: a T-shirt at €1.99 is cheaper than buying a pack of 8 toilet rolls!

 

Although the quality is not first-class, it is reasonable, especially for the price. Kik has some “minimum standards” ensuring that, while most of the clothes are produced cheaply in Asia, child labour is not used, nor are there any dodgy chemicals in the clothes. Although one gets the feeling that no more questions are asked than necessary about suppliers, Kik does make some effort in the direction of CSR with the “Help and Hope” Foundation, formed in 2005 to help children in poverty. However, it is not one of the top places to train or to work: there is a large turnover of staff and these are not really trusted or well-looked-after in the way that IKEA, for example, does.

 

But, going back to the clothes, one can’t really argue with the prices. Kik proclaim that you can “dress yourself for under €30” which they can certainly live up to. T-shirts are €1.99 and jeans are €7.99 – with no price increase since May 2002! Three pairs of socks will set you back a mere €1.99 and children’s jeans can be had for €4.99. In the non-clothing lines, the look-and-smell-alike perfumes are €2.99 and greeting cards and gift wrap €0.49.

 

Advertising and promotion are loud and cheerful, as you’ll experience if you click on the website link. Kik do a roaring business in outsize and there is no pussyfooting around here with size 14/16 models – the guys and girls that model the XXL collections are BIG!

Kik have found a very upfront and prominent form of promotion in terms of football tricots. As well as a number of major teams in the Bundesliga, Kik supplies kit to all manner of local and junior teams. And, when you can kit out a complete team (with a bag and ball thrown in) for a mere €99.99, who is to argue?

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Interesting that Kik foresaw and acted on the whole Plus-Size models thing - a pioneer of inclusivity if ever there was one!

In 2025, Kik are still plying their wares, successfully - with 4,200 stores across Europe. Sales have doubled to £2.4 bn since 2006. I haven’t been in there recently, but I had a quick look at the website and the usual suspects are all present and correct - paper plates with rainbow princess unicorns, sequinned denim jackets, garden gnomes. You can still get jeans for under €10 and a T-shirt for €3.49.

There was even a phase when Kik parties were a hip thing to do.

Kik have even more competition these days - not just from Aldi and Lidl - but there’s a whole army of discounters for textiles and bits & pieces - from TEDi to Takko. We’ve got a new Woolworth opening up round the corner, too.

One thing I omitted to mention in my original article is where the name comes from - it’s an acronym for “Kunde ist König”.

The customer is king (or princess). And maybe that’s less about a seamless customer journey/unique branded experience or whatever the latest buzzwords are, and more about a constantly-changing range of cheap and cheerful tat that’s within the reach of anyone’s wallet or pocket money. 

 

Tell it like it is

 

Having (potentially) two Mothers’ Days (the UK Mothering Sunday in March and yesterday’s international Mother's Day) is a bit like having two passports.

When all’s going well, you get the best of both. But, more often than not, you end up sitting on the fence and not really getting much of either. 

Mothers’ Day in Germany was a bit of a mixed (old) bag for me this year.

My one offspring was not around, having absconded to Helsinki on a spontaneous jaunt with a chum. But he did deliver a couple of very fine bottles of wine before he flew off.

I didn’t receive any flowers, but I did get a delightfully kitsch heart-shaped strawberry cake, which was delicious and quickly gobbled up.

No lie-in for me*, as we had an early morning band rehearsal for our Spring concert. Two of the band’s young mums turned up, one wearing a “Beste Mama der Welte” T-shirt and the other with two small boys in tow. She spent much of the practice dealing with snacks, drinks, a few squeals and shrieks that weren’t on the manuscript, as well as at least one nappy change. 

Mothers’ Day isn’t really like this - probably not even for Meghan:

  

Amid all the kitsch and chocolates, flowers and fake smiles, it was refreshing to see this ad for the Aldi Süd brand (creative from Antoni99). 

Now, Mothers' Day and Fathers’ Day (which is Ascension Day) are always pretty close to each other in Germany. This means a film about parents and children makes a lot of sense. 

This film speaks for itself - it’s a kitsch-free yet moving look at the relationship between parents and children over a lifetime. It’s based on a powerful insight - or what we used to called a Simple Universally Recognised Truth (SURT) - “because all parents are also children.” It ends with some genuine photos of generations that Aldi customers have sent in, showing the love between parents and children of whatever age.

Now that’s what I call authentic.

*By the way, I didn’t draw the shortest of short straws - it was my husband who valiantly got up at some unmentionable hour to drive the offspring to the airport for his Finnish jaunt.

RETROWURST: Greece August 2005

 

Retrowurst was in holiday modus in August 2005, full of the many and varied joys of Greece. Food, football, holiday fun - but was this a short-term infatuation on the part of the Germans, following the Greeks’ Euro 2004 success?

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The news is official- in Germany; at least, Greece is the new Italy. While that may sound historically incorrect (wasn’t it the other way around in the old days?) there does seem to be a gathering body of evidence here that Greece is taking over Italy’s pride of place in the Germans’ minds, hearts, stomachs and suntans!

 

It all started about a year ago with football. The surprise winner of Euro 2004 were the Greeks, who, from the opening game on surprised the crowds in the stadiums and in front of the TVs. While critics continued to point out that the football that the Greeks played was uninspired and ugly and others muttered about luck in a sort of sour-Retsina-grapes fashion, the Greeks progressed through the first round, the quarters and semis to the final itself. Now, criticism for playing ugly football and muttering about good luck are well-known to any supporter of the German football team and, if this wasn’t enough to get the Germans behind Greece once their own luck was (uncharacteristically early) up, a quick glance at who was on the sidelines was.

 

Otto Rehhagel, a not uncontroversial veteran of the Bundesliga as player and trainer, coached and trained the Greeks to victory. Rehhagel has often been criticized for his “old-fashioned” methods in his home country. He famously answered his critics with the reply “winning is what is modern.” Herr Rehhagel has not only gained a couple of name changes since the tournament (“King Otto”, Rehakles”) but also is now an honorary citizen of Athens and was voted “Greek of the Year” by a leading Greek newspaper.

 

The drama of Euro 2004 was followed closely by the excitement and pageant of the 2004 Olympics, the Opening Ceremony of which also featured Herr Rehhagel/Rehakles. Two weeks of surprise, scandal and achievement under the Greek sun certainly continued to whet German appetites for the country.

 

Some rather less culturally mighty events also saw Greeks triumphing. In the first German series of “I’m a Celebrity- get me out of here”, Costa Cordalis was crowned Jungle King. Costa Cordalis is a German-adopted Greek singer who had a couple of hit records in the 1970s which are still played at Karenval when people are too drunk to care how cheesy they are. For Costa Cordalis, you need to think Demis Roussos minus the kaftan and a few kilos. And, on the subject of tacky Europop, the Eurovision song contest was won this year by none other than Greece.

 

On the holiday destination front, many people in Germany, scared-off by terrorist activity in Turkey and Egypt or by natural disaster in the Far East are booking up holidays in Greece. Even the recent Helios plane crash has not much dented the impression that Greece is a “safer” holiday destination than many. Greece has never been associated with the sort of Club 18-30 excess (as in Kardemena for example) in Germany that certain Greek islands and resorts are known (and avoided) for in the UK. While Germany spawns just as many undesirable holiday-makers as the UK does, most of them tend to congregate in certain unsavoury bars and resorts in the Balearics. For historical reasons, the Greeks are probably more prepared to tolerate drunken Brits than drunken Krauts.

Greece has always been a little overshadowed by its two Mediterranean neighbours, Italy and Turkey, from a German point of view. Italy has long been a popular travel and holiday destination for the Germans from Goethe’s time onwards. After all, it’s just over the Alps and these days you can drive there in a day from all but the northernmost areas of Germany. Italy is to the Germans as France is to the Brits - the epitome of the desired lifestyle, food, drink and culture. Turkey is a more recent influence but a very noticeable one with the presence of a large Turkish community within Germany. Turkish shops and restaurants are widespread and popular with many Germans and Turkey itself is a well-loved holiday destination.

 

This year, however, tourism to Greece has really taken-off. It is almost impossible to get a flight at this stage of the season to any of the islands and many tour operators seem to be booked-out. At least every second person amongst friends, neighbours and colleagues seems to be holidaying in Greece this year.

 

The discount retailers have really picked up on this trend with Greek-themed offers throughout this summer. For example, Plus (www.plus.de) have a wide range of Greek products on offer this week. There is Imiglykos wine for €1.49 (you’d probably be prepared to sing-along to Costa Cordalis songs after this!), Eos Ouzo for €4.99 (ditto), Olive Oil from Krete, Zeus Zaziki and all manner of stuffed and marinated olives and peppers. It’s not just consumables on offer either: Plus also have a mosaic garden chair and table set, olive and pistachio trees, special dishes for the stuffed and marinated olives and all manner of table linen with an olive design on offer.

 

The other discounters such as Aldi and Lidl have also had their Greek ranges with everything from cookbooks to garden statues. So it certainly seems as if those that are unlucky enough not to have booked their flights to Greece early will never-the-less have ample opportunity to create their own Taverna in the back garden, sit back in their mosaic stools, slug back a bit of Ouzo and sing along to Costa Cordalis. For my part, I’m off to Paros at the end of September although it may well be that we’ll have had enough of Greece by then!

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Sometimes, looking back at Retrowurst, I wonder where to start, as the changes are so fundamental. But, I can safely say that the German passion for Greece is still very much alive and kicking like a mythical winged horse. The discounters are still celebrating Greek weeks with regularity, offering Mythos and other goodies.

Fifty friends of ours celebrated a 25th wedding anniversary in Matala recently, and the Greece newbies were every bit as enchanted as those who’d been visiting for decades. And last Sunday, our local band managed a rendition of Griechischer Wein just before the heavens opened and rain stopped play - and Fest.

Yamas!

RETROWURST: Armani meets Aldi February 2005 Mark 2

 

Sometimes trends become - quite simply - part of the accepted fabric of life and you wonder what on earth the fuss was about, or why such a phenomenon was ever considered worthy of comment. Apart from giving journalists and trend forecasters a chance to exercise their creativity in coming up with a silly name.

But back in 2005, a younger me was excited as anyone about the mind-blowingly amazing news that Karl Lagerfeld was putting out a collection for H&M. Imagine that!

Was this a taste of things to come? Could we maybe expect the much-maligned “middle” to disappear in a puff of mediocrity by 2020?

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This month, I’m going to write about a general trend that I’m sure is prevalent in other markets too, but I thought you might like to hear how this is affecting the German market in particular. It’s the trend variously called “Armani meets Aldi” or “Prada and Zara”, which is best symbolized by legendary designer Karl Lagerfeld putting out a collection for H&M last summer. Now, the collection will probably never be repeated (apparently Lagerfeld was upset that H&M produced his designs in sizes a little bit bigger than those to fit the average stick insect, which is rich coming from him as he used to be quite a porker himself!) but what the whole action represented was an important milestone in the development of this trend.

 

The trend itself is characterized by the growth of the luxury and discount sectors of many markets and the consequent shrinking of the middle. It’s estimated that in 1980, the middle-price segment represented 49% of sales but it is predicted that this will fall to 20% by 2010 at the expense of growth from the luxury and discount sectors. In contrast, discounters are estimated to have accounted for 38% of sales in 2003. Companies such as Porsche and Gucci on the one hand and Aldi and Lidl on the other are enjoying growth, while the traditional middle segment, such as retailer Karstadt-Quelle or car manufacturer Opel is suffering here in Germany.

 

The consumer behaviour that is fuelling this trend can be variously described as “trading up/trading down” or “mixing”. Instead of spending our cash on the ‘safe’ middle, we are ploughing what we’ve saved at the discounter into the new luxury segment. This behaviour can be traced back to a number of factors in Germany; shopping at the discounter was a necessity for many, including new groups of people hit by the last recession from which we’re just beginning to emerge. Another factor is the new responsibility that people are beginning to take for themselves; instead of relying on the tried and trusted ‘safe’ brand names, I’ll decide for myself in which areas I save and in which I splurge! This feeling has now translated into a perception across all bands of society that it’s no longer prestige just to buy expensive things; those who are really clever and ‘in the know’ can tell you exactly which manufacturer produces which Aldi goods! The discounters have not been slow to pick up on this trend and are broadening their offer accordingly. Aldi, for example, makes €1bn from clothing alone and is the 7^th largest textile retailer in Germany.

 

Within areas other than retail, brands are picking up on the trend. A good example is the Korean car manufacturers Hyundai and Kia. These brands are deliberately attacking the value end of the car market with emphasis on quality and design. Hyundai recently ran advertising under the headline “Es gibt wieder richtige Volkswagen” (“Now there are real Volkswagens (peoples’ cars) again”). Both these Korean brands are enjoying double-figure growth in a stagnating market. In all branches, those that offer design at a good price are winning, from H&M to IKEA.

 

Part of the problem of the middle market is that the discounter products are, in many cases, as good. It is really not worth paying a little bit more for a brand name, especially when Aldi is a strong brand name in itself these days. The middle-market brands can no longer rely on their brand name; they must find a way upwards to the new luxury market and offer something worth having. The new luxury market is based on the principle of offering ‘specialness’ in fields where the basic price is not so high. In this way, Danone’s Actimel yoghurt can sell quite happily at a price premium of 100-200%. It is expensive (but jusitified, due to the L.Casei bacteria!) but affordable.

 

Some of the traditional middle-market brands are beginning to incorporate ‘luxury’ elements into their offer or communication in the hope of winning back customers. It is certainly true to say that the boundaries of what is discount, what is mass and what is luxury are becoming more and more blurred but it is questionable whether these actions which are not unique or an integral part of the brand concept will be powerful enough to buck the trend. For example, the mass-market mail-order catalogue Otto now has collections from Heidi Klum and Claudia Schiffer (have they not noticed that the old Supermodel trick has been used to much better effect by H&M for the last ten plus years?). C&A now have TV advertisements with super-high top fashion production values but at the end of the day, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

 

Maybe the German middle-market brands should learn from M&S in the UK; increasingly, this is all about personalization, not about buying into a ‘blanket lifestyle’. It is about picking and choosing to suit oneself across categories, styles and price-bands. It is also about substance and attention to detail. A final example of the ‘new luxury’ is the Internet shopping site www.brot-und-butter.de .Here we see “everyday products but not everyday quality” (the cynical could add something about ‘not everyday prices’, too!).

This has all the elements of specialness, individualism, authenticity and a touch of luxury that I can afford. I imagine that it won’t be long before Aldi offer a similar selection of ‘special everyday’ products to go with the €12.99 champagne!

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It’s true to say that this “trend” has simply become a way of life - fashion designers, influencers, TikTokkers and probably activists can all have a go at doing a collection for Lidl or Aldi. It’s no shame for Gucci and The North Face to use a super-nerd in their brand communication. And grocery discounters don’t just have “everyday luxury” food ranges, but ironically branded fashion items, too. 

And, on top of that, I think that sustainability and a shift in values have led to questions: what is luxury? There are some thoughts on that here. And what is discount? Is it cheap at any price (to the environment or society?). How do people’s priorities shift in times when we’re more cash-strapped? I’m reading a lot about the “lipstick effect” in all of this year’s trend reports. But the question is not so much whether but what - maybe this time we’ll be giving something a second life rather than splashing out on something new to treat ourselves. Doing good to the conscience and the wallet.

... and, well I never! I blogged on exactly this article this time last year. “Giving something a second life."Whoops. The system is out of sync. Oh well, I’d already taken the picture, and some of the thoughts are new.

Talking of which, the “middle" is still here - especially the “spare tyre”. It’s a mark of what does change. 

Can anyone imagine Karl - should he still be alive today - having the audacity to complain about his clothes being made in sizes beyond that for a stick insect?

WFO(AH)

 

Do you know that feeling? You discover a perfect little restaurant tucked away somewhere, then before you know it, it’s featured in some fashionable magazine or the latest influencer swans into it. Your little secret is secret no more.

I feel the same about my working arrangements as a freelancer, especially now that the sharks are out for that recent acronym, WFH. The good, not so good, great and think-they’re-great of the Davos set are proclaiming that “remote working has not worked.” That was Larry Fink of Black Rock, apparently.

Meanwhile, at the other end (?) of the political spectrum, certain journalists are having a bash at “the pyjama classes” and “the laptop elites.” I have some sympathy with this view, having seen efforts from ad agencies in 2020 featuring every WFH cliche going: the pyjamas and jogging pants, the dog/cat/kids invading the Zoom conference with its silly, jokey background. Meanwhile, there weren’t any people featured in these Covid vignettes who were out there doing a job, keeping the world running. And yes, it make me wonder about the value of what I do here ...

But there’s a difference. I have been self-employed for twenty years now and I started without a laptop, just a cheap Aldi computer,  a Freenet email address and a trusty Nokia mobile phone. Within 18 months, I was lucky indeed: we bought a house and the top floor became my office. From the start, I was disciplined, although it was against my nature - but I had to be, starting out in business with a toddler in tow.

Having an office space (which happens to be in my home) does make the difference. There is a door, which I can shut. A whole weekend can go by without me going upstairs to the top floor. Sometimes I am up there evenings, or for a few hours on Sunday afternoon, working, but that’s usually my choice. The clue is in the term “self-employed."

This isn’t meant to be a whinge about being lumped in with everyone else who was forced into WFH in 2020, although it does sometimes feel to me like my experience with gin & tonic - something I’ve always enjoyed, which became terribly fashionable but is now on the wane again. All  I want is to make a simple distinction: I’m working from an office - which happens to be at home.

WFO(AH). 

RETROWURST: Old People November 2004

 

This month’s Retrowurst is particularly interesting from a personal point of view. I wrote it while in my 40s and it concerned my perception of “old people” in Germany at that time. It’s full of observations about the 60+ age group, Nordic Walking, the Verein and Gutbürgerlich food. My conclusion was that I’d far rather grow older in Germany than in the UK - that Germany was a friendlier and more respectful environment for the old.

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Having just clocked up another year, I am feeling a little sensitive about getting older so I thought I’d turn my attention to the older people in Germany and give you some idea as to why I’d probably rather get old here than back in the UK.

 

If I had to choose one picture that symbolised the current social climate in Germany this year then it would have to be this: a few weeks back I was in Aldi and the place was packed full of ladies aged 60 + in a bit of a rugby scrum. It was a very genteel rugby scrum with lots of helpful smiling and friendly joking and, once I managed a few polite Entschuldigungs, I was close enough to see what all the fuss was about. Aldi had Nordic Walking gear on offer. Not just the sticks, but special jackets, shirts and leggings, headbands, socks and gloves. Now, I still don’t have a clue how a Nordic Walking jacket might differ from something you might go jogging in, but there you go. Obviously, to these ladies, all these items were much sought-after. Not long after, while I was out jogging (no doubt passé amongst the older generation) I saw a group of similar ladies (and their men folk) striding towards me briskly, resplendent in their co-ordinating Aldi outfits. The self-confidence and general Lebensfreude of this group seemed a stark contrast to the continual whining and whingeing of the 30 and 40-somethings that I seem to know in Germany. And, generally, one can see that the 60+ group in Germany are less worried about the future than younger age groups. It may be selfish, but it also stems, perhaps, from a belief amongst this group that the bad times are behind them. For someone born just before, during or just after the war, childhood was tough with families depleted and also divided geographically for years on top of the shortages and rationing.

 

Somehow the whole education system and social structure of Germany means that everything is shifted 5-10 years upwards compared to the UK. Children don’t start school until they are 6 or even 7 and stay until they are 19. The compulsory military or social service means that further education may not be completed until the late 20s or early 30s. The result of this is that if you set foot in a German advertising agency, for example, and you’re the wrong side of 40, you wouldn’t get the same feeling of being totally out of place that you might in London. And ‘youth’ TV presenters regularly pop up who are pushing 40. All of this means, of course, that you are still described as ‘young’ well into your 40s and middle-age doesn’t really seem to set in until mid-50s.

 

In Germany, it seems more acceptable to be older. The whole country seems to be more set up for the tastes and needs of older people. Restaurants unashamedly offer Gutbürgerlich food and good wine in traditional surroundings, served by formal but friendly waiters and waitresses who address one with respect rather than the ‘Hi guys my name’s Max specials today are sauerkraut wraps and bratwurst with pesto mash’ approach. The independent butchers, bakers and greengrocers, along with the weekly markets where you can ask exactly which field the cow came from or whose apple trees your Cox’s are from do a roaring trade, especially with older people who have time for good service quality as well as the socialising opportunities that these shops provide. And one sees rather less of the mutton-dressed-as-lamb look and rather more independent ladies’ and gentlemen’s outfitters selling good quality classic clothes in dark greens and browns.

 

Older people seem to be present somehow in Germany, which is perhaps not surprising as the over 60s comprise 25% of the population currently, which is forecast to rise to 40% by 2050.TV is not dominated by youth – there are plenty of light entertainment and folk-music shows with jolly-looking 60-,70- and 80-pluses linking arms and singing along in the background – and none of this is tongue-in-cheek. In advertising, older models are often used – Nivea pioneered the ‘mature skin’ segment with Nivea Vital over 10 years ago and companies like Davidoff feature older men in their advertising campaign (‘the more you know...’).

 

Another unique feature of German life where the seniors hold much power is in the notion of Verein or clubs. Even a little village will have dozens of clubs, from rabbit-fanciers to carnival clubs, from handball to opera-singing. These clubs often have a long tradition and will play a major part in the social life of the town, organising local Fests and other events.

 

Many older people are also politically active. There is a political party called Die Graue Panther (see www.die-grauen-graue-panther.de ) who are calling for a radical reform of the Social Security System, amongst other issues.

 

As in the UK, there are plenty of Internet sites hosted by and run for older people, such as www.seniorenchatring.de or www.feierabend.de where you can even see a photo of my friends the Nordic Walkers!

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What is extraordinary is despite the obsession of marketing trend reports with change and disruption, tearing up the playbook, smashing taboos and stereotypes, there being no “new normal”, a frankly terrifying VUCA world enveloping us and all the rest, things seem to have stayed comfortingly stable. 

Yes, of course digitalisation has happened in the last 18 years, but it has been assumed organically, almost naturally, as part of human progress. www.feierabend.de is still chugging along, but in the meantime Facebook and WhatsApp are where the older people are online. 

Germany is still a comfortable place for the old. I don’t hear the whinging about “older women being invisible” that seems to wail out of the UK. Maybe because, until recently, we had one in charge.

While Germany with respect to the old hasn’t changed, of course I have. My parents and parents-in-law are all gone now, so I am the older generation. I’m in a couple of Vereine, and have been known to buy comfy merino-wool loden-style shoes. There’s nothing quite like a plate of Gutbürgerlich food, especially at this time of year when the leaves are falling and nights are drawing in.

But I still haven’t succumbed to the joys of Nordic Walking. Not yet.   

RETROWURST: Armani meets Aldi February 2005

 

It’s difficult to believe that the - some would say game-changing -  collaboration between Karl Lagerfeld and H&M was 18 years ago. In February 2005, I wrote about the phenomenon, variously known at the time as “Armani meets Aldi” or “Prada meets Zara” - the growth of luxury and discount at the expense of the poor squeezed middle, be it fashion, retail, cars or even yoghurts.

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This month, I’m going to write about a general trend that I’m sure is prevalent in other markets too, but I thought you might like to hear how this is affecting the German market in particular. It’s the trend variously called “Armani meets Aldi” or “Prada and Zara”, which is best symbolized by legendary designer Karl Lagerfeld putting out a collection for H&M last summer. Now, the collection will probably never be repeated (apparently Lagerfeld was upset that H&M produced his designs in sizes a little bit bigger than those to fit the average stick insect, which is rich coming from him as he used to be quite a porker himself!) but what the whole action represented was an important milestone in the development of this trend.

 

The trend itself is characterized by the growth of the luxury and discount sectors of many markets and the consequent shrinking of the middle. It’s estimated that in 1980, the middle-price segment represented 49% of sales but it is predicted that this will fall to 20% by 2010 at the expense of growth from the luxury and discount sectors. In contrast, discounters are estimated to have accounted for 38% of sales in 2003. Companies such as Porsche and Gucci on the one hand and Aldi and Lidl on the other are enjoying growth, while the traditional middle segment, such as retailer Karstadt-Quelle or car manufacturer Opel is suffering here in Germany.

 

The consumer behaviour that is fuelling this trend can be variously described as “trading up/trading down” or “mixing”. Instead of spending our cash on the ‘safe’ middle, we are ploughing what we’ve saved at the discounter into the new luxury segment. This behaviour can be traced back to a number of factors in Germany; shopping at the discounter was a necessity for many, including new groups of people hit by the last recession from which we’re just beginning to emerge. Another factor is the new responsibility that people are beginning to take for themselves; instead of relying on the tried and trusted ‘safe’ brand names, I’ll decide for myself in which areas I save and in which I splurge! This feeling has now translated into a perception across all bands of society that it’s no longer prestige just to buy expensive things; those who are really clever and ‘in the know’ can tell you exactly which manufacturer produces which Aldi goods! The discounters have not been slow to pick up on this trend and are broadening their offer accordingly. Aldi, for example, makes €1bn from clothing alone and is the 7^th largest textile retailer in Germany.

 

Within areas other than retail, brands are picking up on the trend. A good example is the Korean car manufacturers Hyundai and Kia. These brands are deliberately attacking the value end of the car market with emphasis on quality and design. Hyundai recently ran advertising under the headline “Es gibt wieder richtige Volkswagen” (“Now there are real Volkswagens (peoples’ cars) again”). Both these Korean brands are enjoying double-figure growth in a stagnating market. In all branches, those that offer design at a good price are winning, from H&M to IKEA.

 

Part of the problem of the middle market is that the discounter products are, in many cases, as good. It is really not worth paying a little bit more for a brand name, especially when Aldi is a strong brand name in itself these days. The middle-market brands can no longer rely on their brand name; they must find a way upwards to the new luxury market and offer something worth having. The new luxury market is based on the principle of offering ‘specialness’ in fields where the basic price is not so high. In this way, Danone’s Actimel yoghurt can sell quite happily at a price premium of 100-200%. It is expensive (but jusitified, due to the L.Casei bacteria!) but affordable.

 

Some of the traditional middle-market brands are beginning to incorporate ‘luxury’ elements into their offer or communication in the hope of winning back customers. It is certainly true to say that the boundaries of what is discount, what is mass and what is luxury are becoming more and more blurred but it is questionable whether these actions which are not unique or an integral part of the brand concept will be powerful enough to buck the trend. For example, the mass-market mail-order catalogue Otto now has collections from Heidi Klum and Claudia Schiffer (have they not noticed that the old Supermodel trick has been used to much better effect by H&M for the last ten plus years?). C&A now have TV advertisements with super-high top fashion production values but at the end of the day, you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

 

Maybe the German middle-market brands should learn from M&S in the UK; increasingly, this is all about personalization, not about buying into a ‘blanket lifestyle’. It is about picking and choosing to suit oneself across categories, styles and price-bands. It is also about substance and attention to detail. A final example of the ‘new luxury’ is the Internet shopping site www.brot-und-butter.de .Here we see “everyday products but not everyday quality” (the cynical could add something about ‘not everyday prices’, too!).

This has all the elements of specialness, individualism, authenticity and a touch of luxury that I can afford. I imagine that it won’t be long before Aldi offer a similar selection of ‘special everyday’ products to go with the €12.99 champagne!

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17 years, a financial crisis or two and a pandemic later, it’s still the same story, although I’m wondering how much of the sad old middle there really is left to squeeze. One thing that’s changed is that all this mixing and matching has become the norm, with luxury and discount hardly seeming such unlikely bedfellows any more. Which makes it perfectly acceptable for Aldi and Lidl  to do their own luxury-style streetwear collections. 

Hang on. Luxury brands and streetwear? Well, maybe something has changed.

Digitalisation and the move to ecommerce and beyond has been taken up with more aplomb at the two ends of the price spectrum than the slow-moving and more traditional mid-market.

It reminds me in some ways that in the UK, it was always said that the upper and working classes had more in common with each other than with the middle class.

RETROWURST: Old Europe January 2004

 

I wonder, with some of my Retrowurst posts, whether they are worth resurrecting, but with this one, I have no doubt. The word of the year 19 years ago, back in 2003 was “Das Alte Europe” - a phrase tied up with the war in Iraq that came to symbolise a new-found positive self-confidence amongst Europeans.

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In Wiesbaden sits a typically German Society, the GfdS (Gesellschaft für deutsche Sprache) or Society for the German Language. At the end of each year, these eminent linguists announce the word of the year- the word that has somehow characterised the year and has been top-of-mind in the news. For example, the word of the year for 2002 was ‘Teuro’; a word made from a combination of the German word for ‘expensive’- ‘teuer’- and the Euro, which had been introduced as currency at the beginning of the year. The word Teuro summed up the general mood amongst the German people for the year 2002 and the earlier part of 2003- Germany had followed its role-model, the U.S, on the next step to being the ‘United States of Europe’ with their very own Eurodollars, but once they had them, all anyone could do was whinge about them. While the French simply ignored the Euros and carried on talking in Francs, almost everyone in Germany was guilty of using the Teuro word and regaling friends with sob-stories about how x cost exactly the same in Euros as it had in Deutschmarks (the exchange rate was approximately 2 DMs per Euro) at least once a day. There were campaigns on local radio and the local press, not to mention the Internet, to ‘name and shame’ Teuro terrorists - services and retailers guilty of this crime - with the zeal normally reserved for paedophiles.

 

This whole state of affairs was yet another symptom of a whinging, dispirited nation in a crisis of self-confidence, continually beating itself up. Every article in the business press bemoaned the lack of innovation and success behind German companies and brands and the words ‘crisis’ and ‘lack of self confidence’ characterised the tonality. Even though the German football team managed to get into the final of the World Cup, they were still criticised for playing dull, inspiring football. And in a qualification game for Euro 2004, they were unlucky enough to draw against Iceland. Immediately after the game, Rudi Voller was bombarded with criticism on the crisis facing the lacklustre team; one mediocre performance was held up as typifying everything that was wrong, uninspiring, dull, uncreative and resting on their laurels about German football. Rudi lost his rag, which was highly amusing to watch on live TV, with a line about ‘it’s all very well for you lot sitting here in the studio on your high horses drinking Weissbier’. But he had a point. Germans love to beat themselves up about failure - for a country with an urge towards efficiency and perfectionism; they can be mighty self-punishing and hard on themselves when the chips are down.

 

However, sometime in Spring last year, the tide turned, although I think it is only being acknowledged now. For the year 2003, the GfdS have chosen the phrase ‘Das alte Europa’ or ‘Old Europe’ as the word of the year. The phrase was originally a term U.S Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld used to disparage Germany and France for resisting war in Iraq but became a proud rallying cry for opponents of the war. As Rudolf Hoberg of the GfdS said: “The term ‘Old Europe’ was originally used as a provocation, but its meaning underwent a transformation and now stands for a new-found symbol for positive self-confidence among Europeans.”

 

Gradually, we began to see a change in Germany’s relationship with the US - and not just in the political sphere. Germany has had a long, somewhat unequal love-affair with the U.S, particularly when it comes to brands and marketing. This can be seen from U.S brands being held up as textbook examples in seminars and articles about brands with all the usual suspects present - Apple, e-Bay, Starbucks, Dell and the like- to the use of U.S English marketing tools and terms through to a rash of ‘American-Style’ product innovations, be it restaurants, pizzas, clothing stores, muffin mixes or bottles of cola beer. But now the love affair with the U.S is simmering down. There is a backlash against the Anglicisation of the German language and brand names like ‘Power Team’, ‘Big Gum’ or ‘Pick-Up’ are now confined to products for the under 8s who still find such things ‘cool’ although the German word ‘geil’ is the more favoured expression in the playground. Instead of American-style Deep Pan pizzas with gaudy stars and stripes packaging, authentic Italian (Old Europe) pizzas with Parma Ham and rocket are taking over the freezer cabinet.

 

Having shown that they mean to do things their own way in the world of politics, I believe Germany may well follow suit in the world of marketing this year. Instead of ‘innovating’ with pale Starbucks-imitation coffee and bagel chains or stars-and-stripes Colabeer, I believe that Germany (Old Europe) will look to its own past (still avoiding certain time periods!) in order to innovate for the future.

 

This could consist of developing Germany’s own Icon brands, rather than continually looking enviously at the U.S Icons. Audi, Mercedes, Milka, Steiff, Lufthansa, Nivea, Krupp, Bosch, Adidas- the list is endless. Although some of these may not shout so loudly on the global stage, these brands are no less iconic than Marlboro, Harley-Davidson or Coca-Cola. Indeed, with the values of authenticity, heritage and quality that these brands have, they are particularly well-placed to appeal to those who value the ‘genuine article’ all over the world.

 

Germany is also good at looking to the past and re-inventing. The new Beetle and Audi TT are both good examples. It doesn’t have to be Germany’s past either if we see what BMW has done with the New Mini. The Adidas Retro range and the revival of beloved DDR brands (see www.ossiladen.de and www.ossiversand.de ) are also good examples.

 

Doing the same but differently is another way to innovate. The Germans, in case you missed it, won the World Cup in football again last year - with the women’s team! 

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Well, I think the love affair with the US well and truly fizzled out once Mr Trump was at the helm, but Europe (old or new) as such is in a pretty sorry state as far as self-confidence goes.  Brexit, Covid and rattling of sabres at the European borders are seeing to that.

Still, even if the new German government have yet to prove themselves, it’s pleasing to see that the big German brands, including the discounter retailers Aldi and Lidl have a reasonably strong presence on the world stage.

And the values underlying the classic German brands - authenticity, heritage and quality - couldn’t be more fitting for a world increasingly concerned about sustainability. Long live “Made in Germany”!

RETROWURST: Geiz ist Geil! November 2003

 

This month’s delve into the Retrowurst archive chronicles the “flaunt your stinginess” trend of the early 2000s, led by some high profile campaigns from discount retailers. It’s an interesting one for me as this period was one of my low points financially, and looking back, I think I took great glee in buying cheap wine at Aldi, frequenting flea-markets and then what we’d now call virtue-signalling  about it all to anyone who’d listen.

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About this time last year, a blue and silver cyber-woman burst onto our TV screens here in Germany, proclaiming “Geiz ist Geil” – “It’s cool to be mean and stingy”, roughly translated. This cyber lady may have only been the spokesperson for the new advertising campaign for the Saturn electronics warehouse but somehow her aggressive proclamation captured the spirit of consumer opinion in Germany and launched not only countless copycat advertising campaigns but also a trend of literally wearing your stinginess on your sleeve. 

 

It’s maybe no co-incidence that the Saturn campaign came from Jung von Matt, one of Germany’s best home-grown advertising agencies. As an agency, they have a talent for really tapping into what’s going on, developing punchy creative ideas and being able to demonstrate the sales effectiveness of their campaigns- at Jung von Matt, the Strategic Planners are called Effizienzers. The Saturn campaign had such a profound effect because it was one advertising campaign that really tapped into the Zeitgeist and said what millions had thought but no-one had dared to say. Like Wall Street before it, with the Michael Douglas character’s pronouncement of “Greed is Good” (and, of course, many great advertising campaigns are derivative of something!), “Geiz ist Geil” has hit the nerve-ending of the age, at least for Germany in 2003.

 

As a nation, the Germans are used to being successful, be it economically or in football. The will to win and to ‘do well’ is written strong in the German psyche. When the Brits go through an economic crisis, we laugh it off, or find someone else to blame for our misfortune. The Germans, however, took the economic downturn very seriously and very personally. The whole country went through (and is still going through) a crisis of self-confidence. People were bombarded with newspaper articles and TV programs about how the economic disaster was the Germans’ own doing and if they were unemployed or redundant then they only had themselves to blame. It was with furtiveness and embarrassment that once prosperous people were seen sneaking into bargain-basement stores. 

 

Traditionally, the German mentality with consumer durables is to buy quality brands that last- such things are seen as an investment. However, reduced disposable income has meant many people having to find acceptable quality at a more than reasonable price, which is where “Geiz ist Geil” came in. This slogan provided a rallying cry to the hard-up consumer. More than just being a “Smart Shopper”, this consumer-power movement gave people permission to actually flaunt their stinginess in public and celebrate it.

 

Within weeks of the campaign breaking, celebrities were being photographed in the gossip magazines with Saturn and Aldi carrier bags. A whole host of other retailers followed suit and penned their own versions of the campaign. The most creative advertising agencies were all falling over each other trying to grab a retail discounter account, in the same way that they’d all fought over the luxury goods and fashion labels a few years back. Existing campaigns, from the likes of Ikea, MediaMarkt and H&M strengthened their price messages.

 

The latest development in this trend draws in the parallel trend of reality TV shows (just to add to the celebration of cheap ‘n’ tacky, perhaps). A spate of books by ‘celebrities’ and the consequent kiss & tell stories in the cheaper newspapers has revealed that these ‘celebrities’ are some of the biggest cheapskates in Germany. In a recent book by one of his (many) ex-girlfriends, Dieter Bohlen (ex-pop singer, record producer, ageing womaniser and Superstars jury member) was revealed as being a cheapskate as well as a love rat. Unperturbed by this, Dieter has signed up for a very lucrative contract with BBDO in their advertising campaign for MakroMarkt, another electronics discounter. Unsurprisingly, the slogan is ‘es lebe billig’ or “Cheapness lives!” Dieter enthuses in the TV ads that everything there is so “schweinbillig” or “dirt cheap”. And he can be seen, in his full tackiness on the website at www.makromarkt.de – the website is a lovely parody of retail advertising from the 70s, complete with multiple starbursts! (now defunct)

 

The latest signs as regards the serious matter of the German economy are that it seems to be recovering. But with Aldi cookbooks appearing on the best-seller lists I’m sure it won’t be too long before we see a show called something like “Celebrity Bargainhunter” on our TV screens. The signs are that the Germans are taking “cheapness” as seriously as they once took investing in quality and this trend may be one that is here to stay.

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In the years since this was written, thriftiness hasn’t gone away, but it’s sidled up to sustainability and a general desire not to be wasteful. Absolute price and cheapness has become less of a thing after all those discounters got pulled under the microscope for less-than-sustainable practices throughout the value chain. So we’re now seeing IKEA getting into the rental market and circular economy, for example.

It strikes me that there have been few German ad slogans with such power (with the odd exception of a couple of DIY stores) since, maybe because so many campaigns are developed globally and transliterated. There were plenty of complaints at the time about the word Geil (which literally means “horny”) but these days, people take offence at different things. 

Dieter Bohlen is still knocking around, though, sitting on talent show juries, producing records, grinning out of the gossip magazines and advertising everything from Camp David clothes to Roller (cheap) furniture. But, thankfully, he is not singing.

RETROWURST: Children May 2003

 

Some of what I find while rummaging through my Retrowurst archive from the early 2000s could have been written yesterday. This month’s article, orginally written in May 2003, definitely couldn’t have been. They say that nothing throws the passage of time into sharper relief than having children and boy, that shows here. At the original time of writing, my son was 2, and not yet in Kindergarten. He’s now a chunky, beared six-foot-plus 20-year-old. There is precious little mention of technology here, and it’s worth bearing in mind that I had only purchased a mobile phone one year previously - a Nokia 6310. My son wouldn’t be getting his first for another 10 years.

Read on for a glimpse into a quaint, vanished world of childhood:

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I have just come back to Germany after a week in the UK and have been struck by the difference between the UK and Germany when it comes to Marketing to children, which is the theme of this month’s Extrawurst. 

 

Kindermarketing is a term that is almost unheard of here - in fact, when spoken, it is in very hushed terms and the American-English euphemism of ‘Marketing to Kids’ (normally seen in Comic Sans typeface, often with a ‘z’ replacing the ‘s’) is used. Of course, we do this in the UK too, and I’ve often wondered whether the usage of this term calms our conscience a little - ‘Kids’, especially with a ‘z’ conjures up cartoony figures with skateboards and baseball caps worn at odd angles who certainly seem streetwise enough to be marketed to, while ‘children’ evokes visions of Janet & John in Startrite shoes.

 

Whatever we choose to call it, markets and marketing with the under 12s in mind are simply less developed here in Germany. The most obvious manifestation is maybe clothes. In the UK, you can walk into Mothercare, Woolworths or M&S and it is impossible to find a pair of pyjamas or a T-Shirt without Bob the Builder or Barbie on it. ‘Traditional’ means Mickey Mouse. In Germany, it is the exception to find such things. Right up to the age of about 8, sweatshirts (if they have a design at all) may have a picture of a Teddy Bear (NOT the Disney Winnie the Pooh or even Paddington, but an unknown, unbranded Teddy) or a pony (no, not one of those pink, lilac and turquoise horrors, but a real, brown pony). In the supermarkets in the UK, the shelves are full of child-orientated products, be it breakfast cereals with marshmallows in, special small bananas branded Blue Parrot Café or similar by the retailer, bubble-baths in every imaginable fruit flavour or birthday cakes representing every TV character you’ve heard of. And this is on top of everything to be found in the traditional child categories such as sweets and toys. In Germany, these things barely exist. In a quick scout round the supermarket today, I found only a modest display of cereals (mostly Kellogg’s), certainly no fruit specially packed at all (let alone for children), one rather unimaginative children’s shower gel and only one cake (a deep frozen thing) that was child-orientated.

 

Children’s television does exist - indeed, there are whole channels devoted to it, but there are very few original German programmes. Most of it is imported from the US and UK, with such series as Sesame Street, Tweenies or Teletubbies dubbed into German (although with the latter, it’s questionable whether this is worth the production costs!) for the younger ones and then the usual cartoon offerings for school-age children. However, especially for pre-school children, there simply isn’t the structure and (dare I say it?) educational value that you get in the UK. The programmes are thrown together, with no link with a relatively educational programme for under-5’s followed by a loud action cartoon for over-7’s.

 

It does seem rather a shame that the country that produced such children’s classics as Struwelpeter and Grimm’s Fairy tales is now rather pedestrian in terms of children’s books. While books for pre-school children in the UK tend to be very colourful, imaginative and often funny, German books for this age-group tend to fall into two categories: the dreary realistic and politically correct (typical is a book I got out of the library recently for my son, who is nearly 3, on rubbish and recycling!) or nostalgic over-sentimental (woodland creatures and elves).

 

Now of course, there is a reason for all of this, which occurred to me when I was talking to a friend of mine, a Doctor with boys aged 3 and 4. She said that it is all to do with the German belief that childhood innocence is ‘sacred’ and there is a strong urge to preserve and protect this innocence for as long as possible. Once I thought about this, everything seemed to fall into place. This is the reason that miniature adult or teenage clothes, such as denim jackets, are not overly popular here for babies and toddlers, who are kept in woolly romper suits for as long as possible. This is the reason that, for a child’s birthday party, a mother will bake cakes herself (with maybe a few Smarties in the icing being the only concession to commercialism) rather than buying a ready-made Thomas or Barbie cake. This is also the reason behind the school system, where, although children go to Kindergarten from age 3 to 6, they do not begin to learn reading and writing (elements of the cruel adult world) until they go to school at the age of 6. Interestingly, most children are only at school until lunchtime right up to age 19. Someone (the mother) is expected to pick them up, give them a cooked lunch and help them with their homework. It also explains the strange (to me) phenomenon when I first came to Germany of interviewing ‘young students’ for trainee posts who were of an age where they’d be running a company in the UK!

 

The implication of all of this for brands and marketing is not that we should give up on marketing to children in Germany but rather that we should acknowledge the cultural differences that exist and be a little careful not simply to transfer concepts and ideas that work in the UK. Although the job is a little harder in Germany, it is interesting by virtue of the challenge that it presents. Rather than falling back on the idea of character merchandising, perhaps we need to develop real concepts and new ideas that appeal to children for their own sake, rather than just a quick ‘sell’ through associating with an existing character. Maybe the dearth of German children’s characters provides an opportunity for a brand to create something new. And overall, the key is that the ideas have to have integrity. For example, there is far less ‘fast food’ in Germany - while they may not be wearing scaled-down versions of adult clothes when they go out to a restaurant, the children’s menu in most restaurants offers scaled-down versions of real food (Wiener Schnitzel, Spaghetti Bolognese, grilled fish) rather than the ubiquitous Chicken Nuggets that one finds in the UK.

 

Another huge opportunity that I see is for someone to launch a range of children’s toiletries here with the pre-school 2-6 age- group in mind. As long as it’s made absolutely clear in which re-cycling bin to put the containers after use and what precisely will happen to them as they are re-processed, it will be a winner.

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Thereafter followed a deluge of yukky gendered monstrosities in children’s books, clothes and toys - largely US and UK-driven. It never quite reached the sparkly, glittery, tweeness of those markets, although even IKEA and Aldi were at it. The pendulum is now swinging back, and I’m pleased to see that the German belief in sanctity of childhood stands pretty well firm.

Although one rather sad consequence is that those dreary realistic and politically correct children’s books now seem to dominate the UK market, too. 

RETROWURST: ALDI April 2003

 

The next in the Retrowurst series, articles written in the early 2000s from a recently-exported Brit’s point of view, is this piece. It relates my early forays into Aldi and was written - wait for it - on an Aldi PC that cost DM (what were they?) 1,000 or thereabouts. Did I think Aldi would catch on in the UK? Come in and find out. (Or was that another German retailer?)

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For this month’s Extrawurst, I’d like to turn my attention to two octogenarian German brothers - Theo and Karl Albrecht. If they sound somewhat unpromising, let me just throw in the fact that they achieved third place on Forbes’ list of the world’s richest people last year and are valued at around US$ 28 bn. The Albrecht brothers (who, incidentally, make Charles Saatchi look positively camera-hungry - the latest photos of them available to the press are 20 years old) started their retail operation over 50 years ago - Albrecht Discount or Aldi as we all know it.

 

The standing of Aldi in Germany is very different to that in other countries such as the UK. According to a study by Young & Rubicam in 2000, Aldi is the best- known brand name in Germany. This is a pretty good achievement, given that the brothers have never given as much as a pfennig to any advertising agency throughout the history of Aldi. It is estimated that 85% of the German population shop at Aldi. This, of course, cuts across the entire age, social and ethnic spectrum although there is one particular group who are the focus of the media attention at the moment.

 

Germany has an unemployment problem and, in comparison to the ‘traditional’ demographic profile of the unemployed (lower education level, older); the ‘new’ unemployed in Germany includes many well-educated professionals in the 25-45 age group who were working in the media, communication or academic field. This has given birth to the idea of ‘Discounter Mode’, where it is positively hip to be seen carrying an Aldi bag. Some of the cleverest and most talked about advertising campaigns in Germany at the moment are for retailers, based 100% on a price strategy. (Geiz ist Geil or Stinginess is Fab/Brill/Hot is the slogan for electronics retailer Saturn, with TV and film personalities happy to be snapped by the gossip press carrying one of their carrier bags!).

 

Aldi’s continuing success has been further fuelled by this trend and I thought I’d examine my own relationship with Aldi to get some insight into the reasons behind this success. My first trip to an Aldi in Germany was a mistake. I went in there one Saturday lunchtime to get some potatoes, I think, as they had run out in my usual store. Even given my years’ experience of how dreadful German supermarkets can be, I was in for a shock. The store was packed full of pushing, sweaty people and looked even more like a warehouse than I’d imagined. I had done some travelling in the former Eastern Europe with my previous job and what I witnessed in Aldi could have come straight out of late 1980s Warsaw as far as I was concerned. I vowed never to set foot in the place again.

 

However, over the next few months, something strange happened. People who I liked and respected began to ‘out’ themselves as Aldi freaks. One friend who is an excellent cook confided in me that he bought the meat for his Venison Ragout from Aldi. My husband bought a new PC (on which I’m writing this!) for around DM 1000 from Aldi. I admired one toddler’s denim dungarees at our playgroup. His mother – a slim and elegant blonde with a fantastically rich husband – told me they were from Aldi. And at the pool barbeque of our friends the beautiful people who have everything, the delicious food and cocktails were care of Aldi.

 

This all surprised me. Had these people perhaps been in a completely different store? Had I just hit Aldi on a bad day? Gradually, through a combination of asking and experience, I learned my way into the Aldi cult. First of all, I had to rid myself of the idea of the Shopping Experience. Brought up on the UK’s Sainsbury’s, Tesco’s and Waitrose, I had to drop the idea that shopping itself would be pleasurable or give any sort of added value. You have to choose your time to go in order to get through it as quickly as possible. Interestingly, Aldi does have incredibly efficient staff and they are rather more highly paid than the average check-out person here, earning the equivalent of nearly £20K per year. Secondly, I had to understand that Aldi carries standard items and then variable specials each week. The specials are promoted (as an ex-ad person I can’t bring my self to say advertised!) via the ominous sounding Aldi Informiert which is an in-house produced flyer with, simply, the products pictured and the prices. This also appears in daily newspapers and on the website. As the specials are available only in limited quantities, queues form regularly outside before opening time.

 

In addition, you have to get used to the little Aldi idiosyncrasies. Cash only- absolutely no plastic allowed. You have to line the shopping trolley up exactly where the cashier can put things back in for maximum efficiency and you’re frowned upon if you start any time-wasting activity like trying to pack things into bags! The different names Aldi Nord and Aldi Süd have less to do with geographical location and more to do with whether it’s part of Theo’s (Nord) or Karl’s (Süd) empire. Apparently, they divided it up in 1961 - Theo wanted cigarettes and Karl didn’t - not for any philanthropic reason but just because cigarettes were particularly prone to pilfering and thus lost profits!

 

Finally, you have to get to know which products are good and which not. Most of the products are made by well-known manufacturers and given a name and packaging that are rather reminiscent of those copy perfumes that started appearing on market stalls in the 1980s. So the Ferrero Kinder Chocolate copy also uses the orange, white, blue and brown colour scheme of the original. In some cases, Aldi have established their own brand name such as Medion for electronics or Formicula for children’s clothing. And sometimes, the original brand name is retained, as is the case with Haribo confectionary.

 

And it is worth it! The prices really are amazing and the quality (usually) good. If you can make the leap of faith that the shopping experience is not worth paying for, you will be rewarded. This week, there is a ‘15 in one Multi-Talent PC’ which can burn DVDs, has Cinema-quality screen picture, acts as a video, radio, TV, music-centre and so on for €1,179 (£813) or a DVD player for € 99.99 (£69). There is a special on on tennis equipment with a Titanium Tennis racquet for €39.99 (£27.58). In the wine department you’ll find Champagne for €9.99 (£6.89), Cava for €3.49 (£2.41), Rioja for €2.29 (£1.58) or Bourdeaux (A.C) for €1.99 (£1.37).

 

I mentioned earlier that it took me a while to get into Aldi as a result of my UK experiences. This could be one of the reasons that Aldi has not repeated the German success in the UK. Or, conversely, I think there is a real opportunity for a UK-style grocery retailer in Germany. The shopping experience here is ghastly-that’s a given. Your choice is between ghastly and average price (Tengelmann, Real, Minimal) or ghastly and low prices, with a bit of Discount Chic thrown in (Aldi). But maybe it doesn’t have to be ghastly. Maybe Germans could learn about the Shopping Experience, in the same way that I unlearned it.

 

Maybe it’s an idea that Theo and Karl or their sons have already got up their sleeves. Watch out for Allux?!

 

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Well, Theo and Karl have both ascended to the great discounter in the sky, in 2010 and 2014 respectively, no doubt to swop thrifty tips with Ingvar Kamprad. As for plastic and cash, Aldi is leading the field not just in modern payment methods, but in sustainability, too. Who’d have thought it? And the UK? Around 900 stores and counting. Even more extraordinarily, the only Aldi TV commercial I’ve seen recently was a Christmas one where the UK Kevin the Carrot idea had been translated into German, with “Kevin” inexplicably renamed “Kai”. Unnecessary, in my view, as Kevin is a popular enough name here, although maybe Karl could have been an idea as a nod to one of the founders.

Some things go on much as always, though - this week’s Aldi  brochure features running shoes for €12.99, Campari for €8.88, Nordic Walking sticks and riding jodhpurs. 

Still, I have moved on from the Aldi PC, and the beautiful people with the pool and Aldi canapés have long since split up.