Driving me round the trend ...

 

My trend-weariness was setting in already over three years ago, I see. This year, I’ve even looked at some of the AI summaries of trend reports and, maybe predictably, haven’t seen much to inspire me. It really does seem to be a load of (crystal) balls.

A new-ish genre in the trend oeuvre - in addition to category trends, consumer trends, media trends, tech trends et al - is marketing trends aka The Future of Marketing. One such is the Cap Gemini report I commented on a few weeks back.

Another is McKinsey’s State of Marketing Europe 2026.  In case you’re wondering how McKinsey work out the future of marketing in Europe, they do it by looking in the rearview mirror. Via a survey of 500 senior marketing decision-makers across 5 countries, backed up with a few depth interveiws with CMOs and academics. 

The stunning conclusion is that “marketing leaders are returning to mastering the basics but simultaneously advancing with utilizing modern tools.” Gosh. 

To get on in 2026, marketers must: Be Trusted, Be Effective, Be Bold. As opposed to ...

Golly gosh indeed. Who’d have thought it? 

There’s a rather hectoring tone about the report - in reference to AI: “Unless European marketing leaders rapidly change their attitudes ...”

Yes, tut, tut. Watch out before the cruel VUCA world gobbles you up, or the Burning Platform turns into an inferno.

The 50-page report has no less than 10 named authors (which doesn’t include Claude or ChatGPT), plus a list of industry experts as long as your arm, plus numerous McKinsey experts and colleagues. Not to mention all the others named who offered “editorial support."

There’s something “too many cooks” about this. It’s a report on an opinion poll, where the questionnaire has been designed by McKinsey. The 500 senior marketing decision-makers, I’m sure, work on a fascinating and diverse range of brands. And are, most likely, a varied bunch with some marked differences in character, in experience - and I’m sure in the way they approach marketing. 

Yet they’ve all been reduced to data points to make generalisations of the LCD sort, rather than HCF. Standardised to fit McKinsey’s frameworks, questions, flywheels, playbooks, agenda and whatever else.

The result is a rather bland, self-fulfilling prophecy. Seek and ye will find.

This stuff is all bad enough, as far as I'm concerned, when McKinsey does it.

But where McKinsey sucks, so do many lesser mortals, out to make a quick buck.

The author/s of this “Industry Pulse Report" report will remain nameless. The industry in question is digital media and advertising. 220 UK digital media experts were questioned in the survey that forms the basis of this - ahem - sales pitch.

But just look at this one chart:

The “experts” were asked what was suitable content to be adjacent to their brand. 

Around a quarter of these experts think it’s not just OK but positively “suitable” for your brand to be next to content that contains inaccurate information, mis/disinformation, or hallucinations. Or content that provides an ad-spammy or cluttered user experience. 

With the rise of synthetic respondents, I am beginning to wonder about the “experts” who find time to take part in these surveys. 

RETROWURST: Austria January 2008

Back in January 2008, I had a little slalom through Austria and its brands such as Red Bull, Almdudler, Meinl, Handl, Giesswein and Pez.

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Maybe because I have just come back from my skiing holiday and maybe because it’s one of the host countries for the European Cup this year, I thought I would take a quick look at Austria and a few Austrian brands this month.

 

When most people in the UK think of Austria, they think of Vienna or Salzburg, of skiing or the Sound of Music, of the blue Danube or Apfelstrudel or of Sachertorte or Lederhosen. But when we think further, we see that Austria is a land of contradiction. On the one hand, there are the years of civilization and great culture and philosophy and on the other hand there is the dark period of history last century. This is the land that produced Mozart, Strauss, Schubert and Freud as well as Arnie, DJ Ötzi and Hitler. The population is a multi-ethnic mix, but almost all speak German. 

 

Austria has a total population of 8.2m, just a tenth of that of Germany. A quarter of these live in Vienna or its suburbs. The ethnic mix includes Hungarians, Croatians, Serbians, Bosnians, Czechs, Slovenians, Turkish, Italians and Albanians as well as the “Roma” who are an officially recognized ethnic minority. This reflects Austria’s key position in the centre of Europe and its imperial history.

 

Austria is one of the top 10 richest countries in the world with a very high standard of living. Employment is relatively low at under 5% (c/f Germany at 9%) and the economy shows a positive development above the EU average.

 

Austrian values include love of the beautiful countryside (much of Austria is mountainous), pride in traditions including food and music, love of closeness of family and friends, Gemütlichkeit (unique feeling of “cosiness”) and pride in roots and longevity. Many families in Austria have lived in the same town for generations and family firms are abundant. Although they like to think of themselves as a progressive company, Austria is woefully behind other EU countries regarding the status of women. There are precious few women in senior management or in politics (for all Germany’s backwardness in this area, at least we have “Angie”!) and there is a huge salary gap between men and women in equivalent positions. In a largely catholic country, women are not particularly encouraged to go back to work after having children and childcare facilities are inadequate.

 

Some Austrian Brands

Red Bull: covered in a previous Extrawurst

Some of the Austrian values are reflected in some classic Austrian brands that I have chosen to give just a little snapshot of. 

 

 

ALMDUDLER

www.almdudler.com

If you thought that coffee, or some nasty Schnapps was the national drink of Austria, you would be wrong: it’s Almdudler! Almdudler, for those who have not tried it is a “herbal lemonade” – actually, it tastes a bit like ginger ale. Almdudler the company has been going for over 50 years, and the website has a competition at the moment for the “best traditional costume couple”. In case you’re missing a jaunty feather hat or Edelweiss choker to go with your Dirndl, you can also buy these from the Almdudler site.

 

MEINL

Julius Meinl started roasting coffee on the family stove in Vienna in 1862 and popularized freshly roasted coffee. Since this time, the company has not looked back, despite excursions beyond the core competence into retail, for example. The logo of the “little coffee boy” is very well-known and reflects the history of coffee in Austria: coffee was brought to Vienna by the Turks in 1683.

 

HANDL

www.handltyrol.at

Handl sell dried bacon, ham and sausages in many varieties and make use of Tyrolean imagery on their packaging, reflecting the authentic nature of the products. They had a very interesting media idea to advertise their sausage snack products with posters at ski-lift stations in the winter season: after all, a spicy hard sausage is just the thing for those long rides in the chairlift!

 

GIESSWEIN

www.giesswein.com

Giesswein are based not a million miles from Kitzbühel and are known world-wide for their boiled-wool jackets and slippers which are available in both traditional and fashionable styles for adults and children.

 

PEZ

The name PEZ comes from the German for Peppermint, Pfefferminz. It may surprise you to know that what became part of pop culture in the US was invented in Vienna in 1927. The sweets were introduced to the US in 1952 and, in 1955; the first character dispensers were introduced. These have become cult collectors’ items which are collected with the fevour that some collect Kinder Surprise figures here in Germany. I am sure that Arnie would agree that sometimes you have to get out of Austria and over to the USA to get people to take you seriously!

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While the political situation in Austria has got a little messy in recent years, Austria’s brands all seem to be on Red Bull. This brand is now worth €8.7 billion and is growing by 11%. Generally, Austrian brands are doing better when it comes to growth than those of their German-speaking neighbours. Following Red Bull in 2nd and 3rd position are two banks - Erste bank and Raiffeisen Bank International (RBI). Also notable is the grocery discounter Billa, part of the REWE empire, growing at a whopping 70% in terms of value. 

And maybe the sweetest get-together on the branded front is Almdudler with Haribo - not Gümmibärchen, but Gümmipärchen!

 

Shapes of things before my eyes?

 

The picture above is from Page 48 of the Capgemini Research Institute report “From Complexity to Clarity: How CMOs can reclaim marketing to build competitive edge.”

This is a glimpse into the not-too distant future, an illustration of what Web 4.0 aka symbiotic web or intelligent web might mean for the retail experience (if we have to call it that.) In case you’re wondering, the definition of Web 4.0 in the reference section of the report is:

an emerging concept that envisions seamless collaboration between humans and AI agents, as well as between AI agents and AI agents. The interactions become real time, context aware, connects the digital and physical worlds, becomes context-aware and ubiquitous. (sic)

Now, far be it from me to be all unseamless and frictional and suggest this definition is just a touch complex and repetitive to boot, but there we go.

I’ve got a number of questions.

How can an “interaction” become aware of context or anything else? Are these AI agents sentient beings?

Where is the brand in all this? I’m a runner, too and have been known to jog in my jaunty way into a sports shop. At the moment, I’m off Nike for what some would argue are childish reasons. But let me have my fun. I’m quite keen on Asics as they’ve been good shoes in the past. But I’m also open to Adidas as - rightly or wrongly - I feel that they’re local and I kind of feel emotionally attached to them. Especially as I had an Adidas sports bag to carry my school books which I now think was the epitome of cool.

Does this only work when you have let every single scrap of your data be harvested - health, sport, purchases? Does it only work when the human customer is assessed like a performance machine?

And what happens when the customer is having a crap day and the AI agent’s voice sounds just like his ex-wife’s and he’s in a subversive mood?

I’ll put together a more grown-up discussion of where I think these “Future of Marketing” reports are missing a trick at a later stage. 

But for now, I'm looking forward to this:

 A jolly piece of brand content from days of yore

Back to life, back to reality

 

I’ve always thought that positioning and brand communications is a tricky balancing act for the big telecoms brands. All too often, the customer ends up with left-hand-doesn’t-know-what-right-hand’s-doing mixed and muddled messages.

Banging on about sustainability on the one hand.

Salespeople pushing you to have yet more GBs on the super-duper-saver tariff on the other.

Heart-wrenching films decrying cyber-bullying from one direction.

Mega-super addictive games and competitions from the other.

Brands like Deutsche Telekom must continually balance responsibility with their mindset of “digital optimism.” In that it can never be blind, non-critical optimism.

The thing is, you can’t set the clock back - or catch the particular bolted horse. But maybe you can stop other horses from bolting in the future.

In Australia, you now have to be proven over 16 to have a social media account. Under 16s can still look at content, but companies are forbidden to enter into a business relationship with children. 

Will less doom-scrolling mean more time to enjoy life unprocessed through algorithms and screens? Vodafone are hoping so. The brand’s Chistmas ad is part of the “Go Real Life” initiative which  encourages more considered SmartPhone usage and everyday mindfulness in general. It’s produced together with Borussia Dortmund and extols the joy of 70,000 fans getting together for a Christmas sing-song. The slogan “Leb im Jetzt statt im Netz. Zeit für echte Verbingdungen” can be roughly translated as “Live in the Now, not in the Net. Time for real connections.”

It’s a apt message especially for now, when every Christmas card, napkin design or poster for Christmas shopping has that distinctive but not very original AI-look to it. 

But, I wonder - to show real responsibility to tackle the problems that social media has unleashed - how would it be if the big telecoms brands got together to work on solutions?  

 

The nutty way to healthy growth

 

Being a little long in the tooth, and an Internot person, I’ve come quite late to the KoRo party. I only spotted the brand this year, on the shelves of REWE, as I embarked on my heathy eating kick in Spring. 

The branding and design interested me as much as the selection of products. It’s reminiscent of Cranks (a UK vegeatarian chain of restaurants back in the last century) - a little ironic, almost taking the piss out of itself as a “knit your own joghurt” sort of brand. As for the products, I think the common factor is non-perishable health food. Oh, and large pack sizes.

I’ve since noticed KoRo on the train, Deutsche Bahn, no less. Respect, as they say around here.

For the current KoRo range, have a look here . Dried fruit, nuts, seeds and grains, peanut and other nut butters and spreads, tinned pulses, crips, snacks, biscuits, even chocolate bars. And they’ve gone into storage jars and kitchen utensils, too.

KoRo was founded in Berlin back in 2012. And what’s interesting is that health food wasn’t part of the original concept. The idea at the beginning was more about the bulk packs, sustainability and more transparence in the supply chain. The initial website sold detergents and cleaning products “rescued” from damaged packaging.

The more KoRo’s founders worked in the area of packaging and e-commerce, the more they learned. For example, that many vegan and vegetarian non-perishable food were sold in tiny packs, and contained loads of additives. Idea!

And the marketing strategy has contributed to the brand’s growth - not just in sales terms but in people’s attachment to the brand. KoRo has been using influencer marketing via YouTube before it was called influencer marketing. Around 90% of the budget goes here and on Instagram 

Partnering with creators, influencers, call them what you like feels right for KoRo - it’s a natural fit, like date and walnut. 

KoRo is one of Germany’s fastest growing brands, with plans to scale-up further, into cafes and ice-cream parlours. 

Not bad for a fruit and nut case.

I dream of data dumps!

 

                                                                        Image: Ideogram

There must be an unwritten rule that, one day, you’ll look back fondly on things that annoyed you when they were ubiquitous. BoneyM, Wimpy, Pixie Boots, Poodle Perms, Malibu, Wham! 

And so it is with the world of work. I used to dread those Zip-folders containing 20 or more 100-page pdfs at the start of a strategy project. The ones that landed with a virtual thud in your in-box and a chirpy message from a junior: “you might find these interesting as background to our project.” Sub-text: I haven’t read them, neither has my boss, but we’re expecting you to read, understand, digest and come back to us asap with a brilliant inisghtful Analysis and Way Forward.

I never thought I’d say “those were the days” when it came to the delightfully-named Data Dump. But, today, the Dump is as dead as a Dodo. Because you receive the whole lot (and more) pre-chewed, semi-digested and regurgitated as Workslop. As the HBR article says, Workslop transfers the effort from creator to receiver. I can vouch for this. In the last year, it’s happened a few times. And I’ve had the rather frustrating task of swilling through the Workslop, trying to make sense of it, going back in many cases to original sources (if available), checking and reading afresh to bring my experience and perspective to the case.

It’s a waste of my time, quite frankly, and worse still, it makes me feel resentful. That my modus switches from exploratory, making connections and leaps of insight/creativity to critical and nit-picking apart, like the Head Teacher marking work. 

This website would be funny if it wasn’t so painfully close to the bone. 

The mantra today (which I’m sick of hearing as so many don’t seem to practice what they preach) is “human-first, humans empowered/turbo-charged by AI”. Substack and LinkedIn are riddled with various proclaimations in various degrees of pomposity. “The Great UnPlug!” “Being human is an act of rebellion!” General whingeing about loss of “voice.”

Well, no shit, Sherlock. As they say. Are you surprised? From politicians upwards, people are lazy and don’t want to take responsibility. Tick things off rather than do them well. Get it done not get it right. (As in “Get Brexit Done.”)

As for me, I’m not joining in. What started with models and templates and frameworks to find out what’s at the heart of a brand now continues with AI. I use it here and there, of course. But, by and large, I stick with my internot methods. The best test of any brand work I do is this: 

    - is the brand identity (in whatever format) original and unique to that brand?

    - is they way I’m expressing it to my client something only I could have created? Like this, but with         my own stamp on it?

But, in the future, will I be dreaming of Workslop? I wouldn’t count it out.    

IAQs

 

British Airways doesn’t deserve any medals from me.

Now, I’ve been cheered up by the new ad campaign from the last couple of years, it’s true. But unfortunately the idea hasn’t filtered down to one-to-one communication with the airline. I’m still getting the annoyingly twee emails that assume I’m a spoilt 12-year-old - written in the same grating tone-of-voice as the ghastly High Life (which I used to read cover-to-cover with pleasure in days gone by). 

But when it comes to one-to-one communication that’s initiated by the customer, things deteriorate even further. 

I had a question for British Airways last week. Would I be allowed to take my dad’s precious medals in my hand luggage flying from Frankfurt to London? I’d assumed yes, but a couple of days before my flight thought - ah, but there’s that huge pin (all 11cm) of it. See above. 

My dilemma can be illustrated by memories of two unpleasant British Airways experiences.

1. My luggage not turning up at Heathrow with my flight and having to wait “up to two days” before it arrived. 

2. Staff at Heathrow confiscating my son’s round-ended child scissors as a “dangerous item”. This was on his 8th birthday. 

I started with the website and read carefully about what’s classified as dangerous and what not. Knitting needles and crochet hooks are OK, but scissors with blades more than 6cm aren't. Nothing about medals and pins.

OK, I’d have to contact them. I tried the “Chat” first - grudgingly, but you never know, AI is coming on in leaps and bounds. 

Not at BA, it isn’t. The bot had been trained exclusively on the airline’s website, it seems, and was only capable of regurgitating content from that. I asked it for a contact number.

All was going swimmingly until the lady I spoke to got my booking number. Oh no, sorry, I can’t help you. You booked through “British Airways Holidays” and have to talk to them.

Eh? But this isn’t a holiday. And anyway, it’s a general question abut what you can carry in hand luggage - or not.

I can’t help you with that because you booked through “British Airways Holidays” - would you like their number. 

Yes, please ...

Number was unobtainable. Rang back. Just been talking to you, or a colleague, number unobtainable etc.

Got a different number. Also unobtainable.

I gave up. Decided to put the medals in my hold baggage and just pray. In the event, the bag did turn up and I was able to do my father proud on Remembrance Sunday.

But it did make me think. If British Airways are going to position themselves around “A British Original”, shouldn’t they have communication channels in place to be able to deal with the human, original, Infrequently Asked Questions, too?